*Jack just yeets holy water at doll-* Jack: THE POWER OF CHRIST C O M P E L S Y O U

Jack: >:(

*Jack just i n h a l e s *

*Insert earrape halo theme-*

Jack: > : D

Jack: s u f f e r

*Insert Jack laughing*

*098 just slithers over like 'wth is going on over here'*

098: u h *Ham walks over and blasts pumped up kicks casually-* Ham: h a h , n o o b s

*Ham casually starts flipping doll off-* Jack: hahah I'm gunna go deaf.

Jack: pain and suffering, but we're taking it like men. Ham: I AM F E M A L E 098: I am s n a k e

Jack: a h . *Ham just starts flipping everyone else off-* 098: m O o O o O m M m M ham's flipping me off >:(

Jack: w h a t a m I - 098: my m o m Jack: n O -

Jack: N-NO-- 098: m o m *Shy Jack noises-*

Jack: p l e a s e don't call me that...- 098: B U T M O M ham's flipping me O F F >:( *Jack just hides his face because embarrassed-*

Ham: yo, sock puppet, Jack gave birth to you. 098: *G A S P* *Jack just f l o p s on the f l o o r * Jack: AHHHHHH-

ham: WHO'S THE DAD >:) 098: y E a H *Jack just starts s o b b i n g *

Ham: h a h a h Jack: my life as a guardian is R U I N E D . 098: MOM IS A GUARDIAN?!

098: but he is- Ham: YEAH JACK IS A MOM, LISTEN TO THE CHILD >:D

Ham: o w Jack: I'm going to commit b r a i n a r s o n

098: w h y , m o m Jack: it's officially drilled in his brain, thanks ham. >:( Ham: > : D

*Ham casually flops onto the floor-* Jack: guess I'll play the mom role for awhile.. 098: :D

*Jack sits up and rubs his head*

Jack: Honestly, I don't know. but N O B O D Y tell Mr.one-eye over there that I'm a "mom". it's already embarrassing enough to even think of myself as one- let alone have others know-

Jack: D O N ' T S A Y T H A T A H H H H H - 098: : D !

*Insert Jack covering his face-* Jack: nOoOOoOo.... 098: Mom called you Mr.One-eye :D

*098 pokes jack casually* 098: m o m - ?

Jack: this is worse than hell and Lucifer COMBINED...

Jack: yeah but this is w o r s e . 098: MOMMMM CAN I HAVE APPLE JUICE

098: yes he is >:( Jack: it's too late it's stuck in his head .,v.,

098: j a c k ' s a g i r l t h e n Jack: NOW HE'S CALLING ME A FEMALE AHHHHHHHHHHH

*Jack sobs again and Ham's just trying to summon doll back-* 098: -?

Ham: yo, we gotta torture everyone. 098: ...... i s a n , w h o ' s m y d a d ?

Ham: ....should we randomly make someone the "dad"

Ham: I don't think the kid would believe that- he's naive, but not THAT naive-

Ham: h m m m m . . .

Ham: y e s .

098: -?

098: * H U G E G A S P *

*098 looks at isan* 098: D A D ? !

Ham: damn, some parents these guys are. Jack: HE'S NOT YOUR DAD- 098: HI DAD! :DDD

098: YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS? Jack: NOOOOOOOOOO- Ham: yeah! longer, even!

Ham: y e s ! 098: MOM WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME D:< Jack: WE- WE'RE NOT-

Jack: I h a t e you b o t h Ham: : D 098: MOM DID YOU CRY WHEN DAD WAS IN THE HOSPITAL???

Jack: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM UNTIL A COUPLE DAYS AGO- 098: L I A R ! Ham: h a h a h

Ham: guess you guys are sock puppet's kid : D Jack: I'm going to k i l l y o u 098: u h o h , mom and dad's m a d

Ham: o w *Jack y e e t s a cross onto ham and she d i e s * 098: w o a h

Jack: t o t a l l y . but what are we gunna do about the kiddo- 098: : D

Jack: h o w , and wouldn't that be a little m e a n -

Jack: ...plus One-eye dude and ham would probably remind him either way..

098: w h a t a r e y o u t a l k i n g a b o u t Jack: ....adult conversation. shoo.

098: I'm an adult too >:( Jack: you're t e n . l e a v e . *098 slithers away-*

Jack: ....I'm honestly stumped-

*Ham just r e a p p e a r s and tries to get doll back, a g a i n *

Ham: we must cause more pain

*Ham casually scoffs-*

Ham: o h m y g o d , y e s

Ham: h e l l y e a h

Ham: shall I do it speedy?

Ham: aight, be right back. *Ham just teleports to lance and yeets them to dolls area-*

Ham: anyways h e y I'm gunna play nice again.

*Ham bonks Lance and Jack just walks over* Jack: u h

Jack: h a m . . . w h y . . . Ham: b o r e d

*Jack sighs, grabs lance, and walks back to where he was-*

Jack: m h m *Jack puts lance down and pats him*

*098 inhales* 098: MOM, DAD, I HURT MY F I N G E R Jack: oh my g o d

Ham: JACK, K I S S I T Jack: N O - 098: <:(

098: those wont fix it >:( Jack: why must you be so D I F F I C U L T Ham: h a h a h

098: it's either mom kiss it or dad kiss it Jack: I'm not kissing n o t h i n '

Ham: one of you gotta kiss it : D Jack: n o . kiddo, just take the bandages. 098: nO

098: N O mom or dad have to K I S S I T >:( Jack: I swear to god, I thought I taught you better- Ham: one of you, just d o i t .

Ham: I'm not the parents of the sock puppet, you guys are : D Jack: we're not gunna.

*stubborn 098 noises* Jack: it's either bandages or permanent "boo-boo" 098: F I N E

*098 uses the bandages angrily* Jack: s u c c e s s

*098 crosses their arms because a n g y* Ham: damn, I thought one of them was gunna do it >:(

Jack: I- dude, your h a n d -

Jack: uh- we could- use some towels and alcohol-

Jack: you're going to attract predators.

Jack: no, your blood is. that's why I said a towel AND alcohol. alcohol covers the smell of blood.

Jack: : D

*Jack just opens a nearby cabinet and grabs towels and alcohol* Jack: let me do it, I don't want anyone using more than they should.

*Jack wraps the towel around lances hand and pours some alcohol on it*

*Jack just stops pouring and puts it away* Jack: aight, we're good now. Ham: instant b o m b >:D

*Jack stares at Ham and doll like 'if you do that I'll make your life hell'-* Ham: give me f i r e

*Ham grabs lance and yeets him over to doll and makes a s m a l l explosion-* Jack: oh my god you i d i o t s

*Jack d r o p k i c k s ham and yeets holy water everywhere-* Jack: your evilness is s p r e a d i n g Ham: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*Jack yeets water on lance and kicks doll-* Jack: you and ham s u c k Ham: m a y b e

*Jack is m a d *

Jack: n o . . . probably not... h o p e f u l l y . Ham: LET THE WORLD BUUUUUUURNNNNNNN

Ham: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Jack: why did I let you live with me-

*Jack just l o o k s at lance like 'u h'*

*Jack shoots doll in the eye casually* Jack: idiot.

Jack: >:( *Jack picks lance up, drags him into the bathroom and puts him on the counter* 098: why'd mom shoot Mr. one-eye, dad? :(

*Ham is casually laughing* Jack: okay, tell me how bad the pain is.

Jack: alright, I'll go get the pills. 098: you are my dad! >:( *Jack casually walks out of the bathroom, goes into the kitchen, grabs the pills and walks back*

Jack: alright, don't question anything about the pills, just take some and swallow. *Jack gives lance atleast 5 pills*

*all of a sudden the pain just goes away-*

Jack: if you tell anyone about these pills then I assure you, you wont like the results.

Jack: good man. *Jack pats lance and walks out of the bathroom*

Jack: quit being such a big baby, you come back when you die, remember?

Jack: TOO ****IN' BAD YOU'RE A JERK >:(

Jack: if you weren't such a jerk then maybe I'd help you. Unfortunately you went down the wrong path |:^

*Jack just shoves a pill into dolls mouth and closes it* Jack: shut. U p .

Jack: I'm going to shoot you even more in the eye if you don't shut up :D

Jack: thank you.

Jack: now go sit down on the couch, I'm making dinner.

*Jack walks to the kitchen and starts cooking some meat*

098: Mom makes good deer meat. Ham: you mean cooks-? 098: y e a h , t h a t

*literally 20 minutes later Jack places fried deer meat on the table with some plates-*

Jack: I also made mac and cheese if you guys want any.

*Jack is s h o o k *

Jack: alright, you guys go ahead and eat. I'm gunna chill outside. *Jack walks outside casually and 098 gives everyone utensils*

*098 starts eating too and Jack's just feeding some deer-*

Jack: I don't get you deer. I kill your kind but yet you still trust me enough for me to feed you. *Jack pats a deers head-*

*Jack is still outside casually* 098: :D Ham: perhaps.

098: stop eating the spoons D:>

098: if you keep eating the spoons then you're sleeping outside >:(

098: no wonder why there's things wrong with you-

098: that was my special spoon... :C

098: if you keep eating the spoons I'm going to scream : D

098: don't eat the utensils or I'll scream.

098: stop eating O B J E C T S

098: thank you. Wait where's mom- Ham: outside, idiot.

Ham: aight. *Jack just being affectionate to the deer intensifies*

*the deer stares at lance-* Jack: AH- uh- don't move, the deer will run away-

*the deer casually walks up to lance and sniffs them-* Jack: ....that's the first time I've seen her do that to a stranger-

*the deer licks lances face, giving them a cowlick* Jack: I'm surprised. Not only did she walk up to you calmly but she also licked you. Consider yourself lucky.

*it makes a small happy grunt*

Jack: right? *the deer rubs her head on lances head-*

(Yes. There's no going back now.) *Jack just laughs at the sight of the deer being affectionate towards lance*

*the deer grunts happily* Jack: I think it's time we go back inside. She has to go back to her flock anyway.

*Jack walks back inside and locks the door* Jack: alright, give me the plates and utensils. *098 gives them to Jack and he walks to the sink and washes them*

Jack: eh, let em be happy. You can't really stop feelings anyways.

*Jack chuckles and finishes up*

Jack: ^^ 098: wait why- Ham: yeah, boogie man's right, he's too happy.

Jack: it's because of the deer 098: OHHHHHHH that's why. I thought she stopped visiting. Ham: w h a t d e e r -

Jack: the deer's already gone, One-eye. Plus, that's M Y deer. And if you dare threaten it's life then I'll just throw you in my basement.

Jack: I have brain worms in my basement : D

Ham: is that why your brain is screwed up? Jack: nah, it's because of the fighting, remember? Ham: ohhh, right.

*098 hugs lance casually*

098: ^^!

Ham: okay, I need to bleach my eyes. The affection is burning my e y e s Jack: h a h .

Jack: because of m O i Ham: u g h *Ham casually d r i n k s bleach*

*Jack falls asleep randomly and 098 hugging lance intensifies*

098: :D Ham: e w . Friends are for the weak.

098: I'm weak because I'm t e n : D Ham: indeed you both are.

098: :C Ham: hah! I bet you couldn't kill me without a weapon or person of sorts >:)

*Jack casually wakes up and death stares Ham* Ham: Ew, affection. *098 starts c r y i n g *

Jack: Ham, I'll give you 20 seconds to apologize, give my kiddo a hug and pat him before I bust those kneecaps of yours Ham: n a h

*Jack starts cracking his knuckles* Jack: = ) Ham: o h n o

Jack: OH N O W YOU'VE DONE IT *Jack takes out a huge asf sword and just s l a s h e s doll and ham in one go-*

Jack: ^^ Ham: O W

*Jack just repeatedly stabs and slashes them and eventually s p i t s on them* Jack: idiots. 098: o k a y t h a t ' s e n o u g h -

*Jack stops and sighs* Jack: and this is why you don't want me mad.

Jack: anyways, you two have fun being friends. I'm gunna take another quick nap. *Jack walks away and drags his sword into a hallway, flops, and s l e e p s *

098: no u : D

098: ...wanna go touch mom's sword?

*098 goes over to where Jack flopped and stares at the sword* 098: b i g .

*098 pokes it and shivers*

*there was casually a dark aura around the sword-*

*the sword automatically makings lances finger b l e e d * 098: maybe we shouldn't mess with moms sword <:D

(MaKeS* g r a m m a r ) *Jack is casually sleep talking-*

*098 is casually messing with Jacks face-* 098: heheh, this is f u n

*098 is casually making Jack do weirdly funny faces-*

*g e m s appeared to come out of the wound-* 098: Mom isn't awake, s o m e h o w -

*098 looks over to lance* 098: you mk?

098: o h . It's because of mom's overly big sword. *Jack yawns and starts ro wake up casually-*

*098 is just s t a r i n g at Jack* Jack: u h 098: morning mom

Jack: did you ****ing touch my sword- 098: y e a h *Jack sighs and pats 098-*

*Jack looks over to where he heard lance* Jack: uh- 098: lance touched it with me :D

Jack: did either of you get cut- 098: lance did : ^ )

Jack: oh god this is bad, lance, get over here i m m e d i a t e l y

*Jack just g r a b s lances hand, pretty much c r u s h i n g i t and just tested how much crystals were in there-*

Jack: god, why'd you touch my sword- *Jack yoinks the crystals out carefully and then wrapped it with some rags-*

Jack: you're lucky your body didn't immediately fill up with crystals. 098: w h -

*Jack pats lance* Jack: don't touch my sword again.

*Jack casually walks back outside-*

098: wanna play tag? :D

098: alright, I'm it >:D

*098 casually chases after lance*

*098 boops lances back* 098: gotcha >:D

098: me fast *isnert 098 doing a proud stance-*

Insert**)

098: H E Y YOU TRICKED ME >:O *098 just chases after lance again-*

*098 boops him and slithers outside-*

098: >:D

*Jack just w a t c h e s and 098 is just laughing-*

098: teehee Jack: u h .

Jack: why- 098: you can't catch me >:)

Jack: just... let them have fun.

Jack: I will kill you again :D

Jack: w d y m -

Jack: O H N O : , D

*Jack just starts looking for both 098 and lance-* Jack: G U Y S - WHERE ARE YOU-

*Jack just somehow h e a r s it and walks over to where lance was-* Jack: oh g o d

*Jack looses up the trap enough for it to drop lance-*

Jack: yeah, you're welcome. Btw Where's my kiddo-

*098 slithers into a tree casually-*

098: hi :D

098: f e l l - ?

098: I heard my arm break : ^ D

*098 somehow isn't c r y i n g - *

*insert 098 c r y i n g - *

098: you m O n S t E r :,(

098: why the gnomes of all things <:(

098: I'm gunna tell mom >:(

*098 gets up a slithers back over to the houses area-*

*Jack is casually trying to get back to the house with a compass-*

Jack: ah, the house is north. Forgot- *Jack just g r a b s lance and starts walking back to the house-*

Jack: anyways, don't go too deep into the forest again >:( *Jack is casually back at the house and lets go of lance-*

*098 casually appears behind Jack-* 098: one eye broke my arm :D Jack: he w h a t

Jack: yes and no. Depends if I'm tired or not and usually I a m . 098: f i x i t p l e a s e

Jack: anyways :D *Jack casually cocks a shotgun-*

*Jack starts rapidly firing at doll-*

*Jack s t i l l shoots doll-*

Jack: : D

Jack: says the one who brooe my kids arm!

B r o k e *

*Jack scoffs* Jack: I'm literally letting 3 strangers live with me and you're telling me I'm awful.

Jack: your sense in logic and realism is dead.

Jack: even the K I D D O has more logic and realism than you. And they're T E N

Jack: n o. I'll play that halo theme again if y o u don't s h u t

*Jack just follows them, r e a d y to blast it-*

Jack: then fix my kids arm :D

*098 just slithers on over and Jack d e a t h s t a r e s doll*

*098 is casually waiting for s o m e t h i n g to happen*

098: :O

*Jack shoves like- 1 0 r a b b i t s in dolls face-* Jack: you're fading so take the rabbits life :)))

*Jack yoinks 098 away and covers his eyes I-*

Jack: yall done?

*Jack uncovers 098s eyes casually-*

098: woah decorations

098: I like decorations :D

*098 is h a p p i *

Jack: anyways

*Jack facepalms*

Jack: I dunno anymore-

*Jack drags 098 inside-*