@virjin
by:
Number1-Padre 
123
123
24.06.2020
24 comments
Number1-Padre[OP]
24.06.2020 03:03
Linki fixed chapter gimme feedback please
Number1-Padre[OP]
24.06.2020 03:04
Link그리고 내가 세계관 만드는데 너무 불합격한 사람에게만 관점이 있는거같아 다른 인물도 넣으려 하는데 grr i need ur help
Number1-Padre[OP]
24.06.2020 03:04
Linki only saw cringy idioms when i looked them up ill deal with them late((ㅂㅅ
i think you should add something to describe the world roughly and then introduce something so you can describe it in detail
or just describe it in the prologue ((님이 해
yeahhh add some person and like make a conflict like
with the police or something
and go over their background quickly
idk im not professional
chapter.1 에서 제인 잠깐 묘사했고 (여자라는거 암시)
chapter.2 에서는 001이 1인칭으로 말한는거 구분하고 (남자라는거 암시)
chapter.3 에서는 사실 vinh (the red hoodie)가 총가지고 "널 쏠 수 도 있는데, 이래도 내가 좋아?" 일케 라일리랑 꽁냥데는거ㄱ((그만해라
she wasnt trying to shoot her just taunting her heuahe 그냥 장난이였다는거 묘사하고
yeah like instead of saying 'said' you can do like 'sHE TauNtEd rilEy.'
and like i know that pain like from writing to visual is easy but from visual to writing is ???
no it's the CCTV's perspective
"Man, the good ol' sweet brand of 97, just the way I like" She murmured as pointing the end towards the glasses' chin, and she laughed as she slowly cornered her up to the cold brick wall, just like those western movies.
"You going to shoot me with that?" The glasses' laughed, maybe she knew the safety cap was still on.
i think if you did like 'the person with the glasses' 더 자연스러울것 같은데
and you don't need to put an apostropghehhe after glasses
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