So how do I even begin...~? I'm struggling with A LOT. From a certain someone who's gone for almost 2 months, to me loosing quite a number of my friends, I'm having an identity crisis. I can't bare with these things. Someone has been mentally abusing my family. Sometimes physically. I can barely restrain myself from lashing out at others. The drama on this site combined with the drama real life problems I just can't deal with it. It's gotten to the point where if I don't distract myself with roleplaying or drawing, I'm either asleep or crying. This happens too much. Nobody knows how desperately I try to become friends with them. Or how much I want to impress them. I feel like a burden that just seeks attention for no reason other than they're an 'attention hogger'. I can't turn to anybody that will want to actually listen to my problems or help me trial through them. I know this'll sound cliche and junk but I really really don't have any friends in real life. It's difficult to explain that I can't even-

-go to my family members for guidance or help. I had a panic attack not too long ago and you know who was there for me? Nobody. That's because nobody cares. They say they do, but what will happen is that their thoughts will overcome them and they will just turn away. Not one person has ever really been there for me. I just want a little buddy to turn to. See, our family has two cats. They never even look at me when I call them or try to pet them. It's like I'm invisible. Getting off topic a little, I can't do anything anymore. Nobody will listen. Nobody will come help. Nobody tries anymore. I try to expand my relationship status but what ends up happening is that I either upset them, or they stop talking to me. I don't really feel safe anywhere, even in my own house. I'm so alone. The only 'friend' I ever had turned on me and started to tell me hateful comments. And my parents don't support my life choices in art so far. They want to get rid of all the stuff I have hanging on the wall. They blame a lot-

-of things on me. So why do I even bother venting here? I just need to say these things before I burst. It's not a secret that many people, including myself, are hiding their depression and just chopping it down to: "I'm unhappy". I just want comfort again.

Now, I shall cry softly curled up in my bed.