Ugh. Logging off now. I don't want to put it off longer and make things worse. It sucks because I feel like I can't even trust my own perspective of things. My whole relationship has been cyclical, and I've always struggled with feeling very black and white on him whenever my attachment issues get triggered, but I've improved so much... and being scared that your partner is actually going to get you killed because he's freaking out so badly is far from normal. I don't know. I know things are bad, but I can't help but downplay it too. He's so sweet sometimes, I have a hard time imagining he's even the same person