i swear to god and on myself when i get the chance to i will end it all because of my stupid mother i dont care about her anymore i would be better off without her i dont care if i could curse myself to be struck by lightning oh i would i dont care anymore i hate it here i hate earth i hate everyone besides the 2 gc's im in and my sibling i hope i get an infection or smth and die i wish i never existed i dont care anymore my moms taking my guitar away forever and it's my last night with it. tomorrow it will be gone. i hope she will be gone too. she wont but it's a possibility. i hate everyone and everything, even if i regret saying this later (i know i will) i'm still going to be showing my rage. i don't care about anyone or anything anymore, i'm losing my attachments to the people i love. i'm sorry for being distant, i probably lost all affection towards you and don't care about you anymore in the most nicest way possible. i'm sorry

there are so many ways i could do it. "it gets better" stop lying no it doesn't, it'll never be okay. "there are so many reasons not to!" i dont care about the reasons, i don't, i really don't. i'd rather stop being in silent pain than continue living on and on with the rage and grudges i hold against people. if you are one of my friends or someone who cares about me and sees this, there's no point in having hope for me anymore. im just an annoying whiny person who just eats and eats every day. i only exist to suffer and be one of those annoying people who just get in your way

and if somehow in some way my sibling sees this, i'm sorry :( if i ever end it (which it's a high possibility), please live on without me no matter what. but if the pain is too much, please seek help because i'll be watching from wherever i stand, being proud of you.

and if i forget you in another universe, i promise i'll try so hard to find you in every person i meet even if i dont know it