i guess thats why ive kept my vent pfp up for like 2 days. i wish life was easier ,some way so i wouldnt cry as much as i do

i thought i hit an all time low for relating to this song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cA64x2PQTsU but im listening to it on loop while i try to stay away from fam

feels like irl hates me , i really want my parents to understand me. i want to be able to stay happy for at least a week. i want to stop venting like a pathetic child , i dont want to look at my body and think "i look terrible " . the lower part of my body doesn't match my face...i hate myself so much. i dont deserve to be here. im a pathetic , loser, disappointment , problem , worst person to exist , a female , and i dont deserve to be alive. i should disapper and die honestly. anyway im going to go try and ignore doing self harm