Read fanfiction with the characters i kin getting completely obliterated and hurtingthemselfs and i disassociate so bad i feel the need to hurt myself too the urge isnt THAT bad but its still ****ing disgusting to me, i really dont understand what is wrong with me why i get so attached to characters, why i feel like i am literally a fictional character, its all so ****ing embarrassing and difficult to deal with. I know its a funny joke about my "murder drones trauma" but i was genuinely going to kill myself over a fictional character and i was always so depressed for months and months just because a character i was attached to was implied to have died. I dont even know what to do anymore, i might just cut anyway because trying to distract myself doesnt work anymore. Im so damn tired of feeling this way

I am feeling better now, just dont like that i feel like this at times