When you feel like having Pepsi Max a hot summer d
Caranthir
Untitled
Splash
Ocean
The Pink Trait
mk
Untitled
by:
AlexCatlonea 
49
49
10.06.2021
7 comments
AlexCatlonea[OP]
10.06.2021 12:40
LinkSo I'm just gonna be honest with anyone who decides to read this because i feel like I've been pretty harsh on here for a while now and I feel like there should be some form of an explanation.
AlexCatlonea[OP]
10.06.2021 12:52
LinkI've been struggling. I've been struggling for a long time now. Ever since my older sibling left, I have been struggling hard. I was having a hard time before that though. I have problems with my mental and physical health. Over the past few years, I've had problems with my joints, back problems, I've had problems with sleep, I've had issues with my eating habits and that's just to name a few. Of course i've had so many issues with my mental health. I've struggled with making friends and what friends I have had, they all leave me. I can't think of one person that isn't family that has stuck around with me for longer than a school year until babydolljax. My entire life has just been one struggle to the next. I try to be fine. I try to be happy, but I am still struggling. I just want to be fine, but I don't think I ever will be. I have no life. I just use escapes to help, but I'm not living. I'm just getting through. It makes me so unbelievably angry and so I've been angry. I've been putting it on here though.
AlexCatlonea[OP]
10.06.2021 12:57
LinkI've only ever wanted people to care, but no one has taken the time. All of my friends, they were just extra baggage that piled onto my garbage heap of problems. I found that here, some people cared and so it was nice, until people didn't care anymore. So I've lashed out and I've just wanted someone to give a shit, though life just sucks. I am sorry if my anger has caused problems for anyone and I hope that maybe you guys can maybe understand why I am suck an angry ***** all the time and why I've been away so much.
AlexCatlonea[OP]
10.06.2021 12:58
LinkWell I'm done now, so i hope everyone who's read this has a good day.
I know this probably won't help, but hear me out. Ever since I mustered up enough courage to talk to you, you've been really kind and caring to me. You were and still are the father I've always wanted. The bond we have made is certainly like no other. Now if I think back, I haven't had someone like you who's lasted this long either. You and me have had one of the best relationships I've ever kept. You are my best friend, and you are really one of the only people besides Vince to be there for me. You know that I suppress constant worry for you, and that I do want you to get better and finally relax every once and a while. But sometimes it's not so easy. I don't know what being in constant pain feels like but I can only imagine that it is awful and annoying. It's okay to be upset at the things that should make you upset. I'm so sorry I can't say or do more than what I am. But I can promise you this: Vincent and I love you to the very pit of our big hearts. That sounds cringey but stick with me.
No matter what you do or what you say to us, that will never change how we view you. I've been kind of a prick if I'm being honest. I know I dump kind of a lot onto you two, and I'm still regretting the night I lashed out at you specifically. Remember that? When I was emotionally charged? I lashed out at you when you were only trying to calm me down. I'm making myself better by the day, and now I have two goddamn alters. But that day still makes me hurt. And I know you were probably confused and concerned. And I apologize deeply for all the shit I've done. But I PROMISE you. Not matter what you do, I know that I will still be there to calm you and comfort you. I know having the feeling of the whole world against you is a lot. I've certainly been there. But the best part about having that feeling is that the only feelings left are the ones you've gathered making you stronger. Your pain may get stronger, but only you can change how strong you get. I know that sounds just as cringey as before but it's true.
No matter what happens, Alex.
I will be there.
No matter what you do.
No matter what you say.
I'll try and take some of that pain away.
And goddamn I'll try my hardest.
Because you have been there for me when I needed it. It's time I return the favor.