I come on the internet and it numbs me, it makes me forget about most of my anxieties of the real world, but then I get new friends meet new people and get new anxieties to add to the pile, people that are depressed, friends that are depressed, you wouldn’t have any idea how many people have told me there cutting in the last couple years, I was used to seeing depressed people every now and then on the internet and trying to help them, but now helping them's harder, with corona they seem to be multiplying by the minute, and I thought there were a lot before, oh and guess what I can’t even tell my Mom about that because I’m not supposed to be on here and so I know my internet friend cutting gives me a LOT of anxiety and stress cause I worry about them but when my Mom asks if I know why I have more anxiety I have to lie and say I don’t know, but I know it’s all the drama and sadness I find on the internet and worry I have for my friends, and the random people that tell me about there problems...

No matter how hard I try. Nothing works.

I think I forgot to take my anxiety pill today, I´m not sure because I don´t pay THAT much attention but.. I think that when I don´t take it I get, emotions easier overwhelm me? My sister decided to give me the silent treatment over something dumb, as per normal. But instead of being unbothered like normally it made me so upset, then she went and ´told on me' even though I did nothing wrong. Normally it wouldn´t bother me THAT much but this time it gave me such a.. intolerable grief that felt..invalid? It was strange, but it caused me to start cutting again because it was so intense. I used a screwdriver to cut my skin and a knife, then just scratched my arms and thighs.