If you knew me in late November 2018, you'd know that I was in a bizarre position. I was angry, envious, disappointed, sad, alone, insert other negative adjectives here. Yeah, I wasn't in a good spot mentally at the time. Long story short, my mom enforced Islamic lessons on me daily for several years and it backfired, leaving her with an atheist son who she still attempted converting. If you can't tell, I REALLY have a distaste for conversion. Specifically, when a religious person tries to convert another person to their religion. That bugged me and it did so for six, now eight, years. Quran reading, Surrah memorization, Sunday "school", basically anything Islamic and "educational", I had enforced on me daily since mid-2012, and in late 2018, 6 years of pure rage and sadness came out of me all at once in that godforesaken post. Pun not intended, but I'm keeping it. Fast forward 583 days after that catastrophe, I have closure on the story. That's a good word to use. I think I'll title this post that.

Alright, closure. Closure to what happened in the 19 months and like a week following my storm of bullshit. The day OF the storm of bullshit, I was angry and all that, but I was still me, I could still meme like I always do, especially with that STUPID ANTI-DIP AD THAT I CAN'T ESCAPE THAT'S SPREAD TO ANTI-VAPE ADS. Anyway, I was still me when I made that, and I still am me, if just a bit older, a bit stranger, a bit more peanuty, a bit more AAAAAAAAAAA, and maybe a bit happier as a person. Why? Okay, so the day of my storm of bullshit, I talked to my mom about what she had done to me. Eventually, she resorted to using her..."powers", as I'll call them and forced me into even more Islamic lessons, by which I mean "memorizing each surrah, one at a time." If you're unfamiliar, think surrahs like they're chapters in a book. That's really the best I can summarize them as. And once I had completed each one, she stated that I'd be done with Islam, period. So what did I do? I made sure she REMEMBERED that.

Constant reminders to make sure she wouldn't "forget." And finally, on July 3, 2020, I finished the last surrah of the last page of the Quran. Every sentence, EVERY PARAGRAPH, EVERY SURRAH, I READ REPEATEDLY, until it was over. It was a long grind, but I'm finally done. And now that it's been long enough to where I'm confident she's keeping her end, I can live my life free of conversion...and I can clear up some space in my memory. Already forgot 99% of it! I can still read Arabic, though, which I guess can come in useful.

Wow, this was a weird thing to write. Didn't even go through the entire story and I'm kinda nervous to even post the sequel to the big meltdown of the IAAB. Nobody asked for it and nobody needs it. Eh. 3 AM IAAB has the same energy as a drunk child on Saint Patrick's Day. Also, if anyone reading this is religious, let me clarify that I don't hate you solely based on your religion, even if it's Islam. I will hate you if you actively try to convert me or someone else, though. That's just not right...unless you're trying to convert someone to worship Sam O'Nella, Danny DeVito, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Those are the only exceptions. And for a final word, and this one goes out to a certain friend I'm confident is gonna see this, you've been mispronouncing "Quran" this entire time. It's "khorahn." "Khor" sounding like Baljeet pronouncing "Corn" and "Ahn" where the A sounds like the A in "Mario."

You know who you are, you stupid idiot. Quit being such a repetitive and redundant stupid idiot. Do you know how much I hate people like that!? Just kidding, bro...you ****ing snake.

JEEZ I DIDNT REALIZE HOW LONG THIS SHIT WAS

****ing loser iaab having to read 1400 year old arabic lol

ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DEODERANT DOESNT WORK

GO SHOPPING? IN A PANDEMIC? EW NO AS LONG AS MY LIFETIME SUPPLY OF KETCHUP IS AROUND, IM PREPARED

consider this: no

fair enough, its all yours...BUT ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR TOILET PAPER

THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SELF ISOLATION AND SCHOOL CANT EVEN ****ING END IT SO THE PANDEMIC'S PROBLEM FOR TWO THOUSAND TWENTY IS FINDING A GOOD WAY TO SPEND IT

DISCOVERING A COVID VACCINE THAT DOESNT EXIST (yet) OR NOT SHOWERING FOR FOUR MONTHS

FINDING A DODO BIRD, SINNING TWELVE TIMES A DAY, OR DRIVING YOUR ROOMMATE INSANE (ANGRY BIRD!!)

SO STICK WITH US CAUSE RYAN AND RYDER ARE GONNA DO IT ALL

MOOOOM RYAN AND RYDER AREN'T SIX FEET APART (guitar again)

sin twelve times a day, of course

ayyyyy