i want to cry so hard so bad but. crying is obnoxious idont. like crying

i was doing so good this past week why am i ! feeling like bad

me when i know i probably wont get over them for a couple of years like the last person 😓😓😓😓😓 me when i start thinking of everything i did wrong, how i could have treated them better like how they deserved to be treated becuase i didnt realize hpw significant they were to me

me when i feel like i have no value without them

me when i will never experience happiness similar to what i did with them

me hwdn i cant outrun this overwhelming feeling

me when i dont really have a purpose to get up in th mornign anymore

me when i know im a terrible person aside the way i present myself

ill waje up in a few hours, ill attempt to forget about this, distract myself, and be just fine ! Until i find myself confined within the walls of my tiny chamber with only the voice in my head engaging in a heated debate against itswlf

i cang handlfe this anymore i CANT tka ethis this devastating feelign of loneliness and regret i couldve done so much better with myselg "theres still time to fix yourself!' no no theere isnt,. im stuck like this im not changing anytime soon unfortunately

you may need improvement but in order to achieve it you must WANT to improve maybe i dont want to i dont have a reason to benefit my own health ? whoooooo carresssssss

im so tired im so sleepyy i dont eben have the motivation to drag tajt stupid****ign kinfe across my arms becauses its all the way ont he other side of my desk whcih jsut makes me more frustrated

of my room on my daesk ^

i want to throw a big hissy fit because i dont know what to do with msyefl i gues si know i need to be better i just dont feel like putting in the work idk

i think somethings wrong in (your) head maybe a little no i think a lot SHUTTTT UOPPPP shut hsupp shut up shut up hsut uopp[

youre suppsoed to tkae my mind of of me ! not acknowelfge my problesm

i want to be held ive said that a couple of time sbefore and it has yet to be done i just want to. curle up in someoens arms and pretend like im ok pretend like im normla i need a place i need someone to confide in where everuthign is ok when im with them./ i dont have hrat perosn anymore i dont hbe them anymore nad its all my faiktl for that i knwo i know i know that and i kow i wont seenteyjk aghj n i jnwn thant

nqe 6you knwo what !if i can get that "comfort" from ranodm old guys then ! so be it ! i think its weird oyu talk often with adults rather than people your age shututuuut up shut up

but wevn those ****ing weirdos arent everlastingt heir only temperorrayt

if****inglt hste evyrone i hate every livign creature ive ever had the honor to speeak to i ahey people i envh those i hold close j hate mysekf i hate all my flaws iw ish i could sit in an endless void and sink intothe dark absent mindedly i wish i was born liek a nromal pwerson iw ant to be your average person i dotn wnat to deal wiht myself id ont i w

soemtimes i wish i given a more unfortunate life msybe then i wouldnt burden eveyonetg near me veru rarely i wish i wee dead this just os happens to be one fo thsoe moments

and who doyu run to when your at your wrose? no one noene you come on this stipig guckign eebsite to rambeltto youself belueing someone on here is reading.,./ and regardless of waht they think at leas t they lsitended and that comforts you suppsoedly

i want to claw out my eyes i wants to skin my face pull my teeth out and stabn mygums wihtpliers then maybe i could expresd how i feel maybe then id calm down maybe then id behappy

no6hiny i draw naymore can rerpesent hwo i feel it all comess out wrong i xnat do it anymore;/ what was my only "talent" onky burdens me now its onyl a task

i nwed to cutso deep so deep spill my blood and bathr in iy

gut ymself pull my insides outand force them down mythroat woudl id ie of blood loss or asphyxiation first

i wish i was younegr i wish i could just enhoy life i wish i oculd hild onto that naivety the innocent ignorance to eb a child without a care except for whatevr homewor k i wass assigned

ijs/ut whant to be eheld i just want to be held I jsuyt need ti be held ti caklm down vbut I need it to feel real I need it to be rrue I dont want to be held to be held i need to find solace

but ill never have thta ill nevre ahve hta peace no i wont ii hate myself i hatemyself im so useless i servse no purpose but to be negativky impact evryone aorund me