UPDATE
by:
AGoreyDemise 
865
865
19.04.2023
17 comments
AGoreyDemise[OP]
19.04.2023 16:31
Link-
AGoreyDemise[OP]
19.04.2023 16:32
Linktalked to mom. its the fourth time hes cheated. she told me she understands how im skeeved out but that hes just stupid and is a good man.
later all three of us will be talking, after hes done with work.
AGoreyDemise[OP]
19.04.2023 16:35
Linki even told her about his weird dream about me. we mostly talked about how this is the fourth time hes been caught.
she doesn't want my sister to know. she thinks hes the only good man left in the world, and we will not ruin that for her.
AGoreyDemise[OP]
20.04.2023 03:12
LinkUPDATE-
we all talked, he apologized for the weird shit he did with me and said he was stupid even after i explained how obviously uncomfortable i was then we talked about his cheating and he started acting like a teenager getting caught doing something wrong. i did bring up the fact it was stupid he even got a fourth chance let alone a second but mom said it was because he was only chatting. cheating is cheating no matter if he was only chatting.
Nah I'm sorry but she needs to let him go.
I've seen this behavior before from my mother giving these guys so many chances because they are "good" and she always regrets it in the end.
He also thinks he can just get away with it because he has been given so many chance and even if he gets caught he would be forgiven which makes his behavior "okay"
Im sorry. Ik its not my place in this and ill delete this if you want, but I feel like I want to say something about it.
I've always been the Middle man in anything like family or my mother's relationships.
I've seen these types of men before and they are anything but good. Her giving him this many chances is way to many already
no, any and all advice is absolutely welcomed.
he had done so much for my family and kicking him out feels both right and wrong.
unfortunately right now he is the only breadwinner so atm its probably not an option. im pretty much the family therapist so im not surprised she let me know. im disappointed its happened so many times and she hasn't told him to leave. she told me about how he threw himself to the floor and cried, begging her not to leave and that he wont do it again, about how he then did a suicide watch for her, thinking she'd kill herself because of it.
So your basically telling me she dug her own grave for basically depending on him
I dont think it has anything to do with his goodness in my opinion.
Him begging and the suicide threat is a common way of guilt tripping into staying with someone aswell and make empty promises to seal the deal. Like I said they are manipulative bastards who wants their cake and eat it too. Though I'm sorry this is not a good situation making him the breadwinner in all honesty she is the reason this is happening because she is enabling it, she was only thinking about herself and not her family and the future of it. It is not fair to you or your sibling because in a way she was being selfish for keeping him
he didn't threaten suicide, he thought my mom was going to commit suicide.
i understand and when we talk later ill make it clear i don't think she should give him more chances.
I've know these type of arseholes my whole life and ik how they think at this point. My only regret was not being upfront with my mother about it. (Because she told me literally everything about them while she was dating them) I dont know how your father is like on a personal level, but if she cares about you and your sibling she needs to get a job and leave him.