Can I talk to anyone?
by:
Feather-Paws 
415
415
24.07.2018
38 comments
Feather-Paws[OP]
24.07.2018 09:18
LinkLike, about my anxiety
To let it out
and hopefully make me feel better
Thanks.
I honestly can't stand this anymore.
I want to be with friends and family.
I want to be able to sleep for more than a few hours without waking up scared of nothing.
I can't be myself.
I'm starting to see things, I am shaking, I am almost crying, and it's hard to breathe. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating. I can't walk through my OWN DAMN HOUSE (sorry for the language) I feel like something is about to hurt me. I was doing things I usually do to calm down when I was hit pretty hard with it. I. COuldn't. Move.
And I know I need help
like
I need medication
I need a way to stop this
If I can't, what makes my life worth living? If i'm always going to be scared?
I don't want to live in constant fear
It's okay. I want to know how to tsalk to people normally but here it goes :v
It's not a problem. And to be honest I can't deal with my anxiety or depression anymore either. Though I might have a different type of anxiety than you or I just have the panic attacks o-o.
Being without friends and family is hard. And I don't really know the type of situation you life in right now I can say it is hard to imagine a life completely without them. I honestly wan to be able to sleep for more than a few hours because I don't sleep that much (kill me) Sorry i'm not being serious. It's okay to be scared of nothing, because usually when you're scared of something your mind id trying to make you more alert and when that thing isn't real... Than... I'm honestly trying to help but I can't i'm really sorry...
I can't be myself either, or at least around other people. It's hard to trust someone to which the point they'll just accept you for who you are. And when they don't, it just honestly goddamn hurts (sorry for the la
*language as well) Though I can't relate to the shaking part which I assume is because you're scared, I send you thoughts of people being there with you whether they are imaginary friends (oof sorry that's just me because i'm weird) or family or friends or even maybe followers from here that give you support! Even if they aren't there in reality they are still there in your heart. And yeah... That does happen... The part where you can't move. I once was just like in the car and my dad was driving back to the house but he was playing Pokemon Go (what is it with people and PG these days :v) and so he pulled into a driveway of a church i'm guessing? And I swore I literally saw something. I don't know what it was or if it was real, and I certainly didn't want to try and tell my dad about it for sure. I just sat there. Staring out the window. Constantly shaking. At something that probably wasn't even real.
I hope this at least helps a little because I can partially relate. If you found anything wrong with my word
words, sorry, i’m not really good with stuff like helping people ;w;
OOF I TYPE TOO MUCH I'M SO SORRY
You can take medicine for anxiety and depression but I don't know if you have the depression part. But yeah if you feel like you need medicine then maybe go to the doctor's the next time you get a chance and see what could happen?
It's ok
It started with every night, I felt something walking. I could feel it in the ground. stepping closer. Then it began getting close and swinging at me but never touching me.
And then it ran into the day. But only at home.
Until recently. It came everywhere I went
It gets so bad that I have to sit with my dog. She calms me down. She helps me breathe. But I can't take her everywhere. I constantly need her and by blanket. Some coffee and music help too. I started talking to it but getting no reply made me feel so lonely yet like somehing was clinging to me
I hardly feel anything but fear now
And as for the depression. Yes, and it is horrible. but I can't get meds for that. My brain is too young
Maybe even for anxiety
my mom would just brush it off as me being paranoid/stressed.
Or being upset
I told my brother about my anxiety and he told me that I needed to get medicine if I wanted a good life.
Because he saw how much it was holding me back. And how much I changed when it first started hitting me
Then you should! Your brother cares about you and he thinks you should take medicine for it. I think if you're feeling like this you should at least try medicine if it's like this.
I used to be all happy and loving. I only felt fear when my father yelled at me, which was every day. Almost. But besides that, I was so happy and loving and energetic. I wanted to play with friends and my brothers
I could make friends.
Now my friends are people who approach me because I can't force myself to talk to anyone
I know. I have to talk to my mother though. She's sleeping. It's 3 in the morning for me. I can't sleep. I'm afraidof what I will see
I could call a suicide prevention hotline
but not now
I just saw it again
I feel genuinely bad for you... If you used to be all carefree before (at least for the most part) and then you're like THIS now, then you should probably do something about it. I don't know if this just seems like i'm putting pressure on you to go do something, and if you don't want to do it then don't do it. I don't want to force you to do something.
Take your time through the morning. It doesn't have to go slow it doesn't have to go fast. Just make it go however speed you want it to go by taking your time to breathe and at least try to relax.
I can't breathe though
everytime im on the phone I get so nervous
"What are they going to say" "Do I sound dumb" "What if I heard them wrong" "Should I really be feeling this way?" "I'm wasting their time"
I want to be me again. Sure, I was a little awkward but I could function.
I usually don't cry like this. I hardly ever cry.
When I talk to my mom, she will brush it off as nothing
She can't stand the thought of her child being broken like this
Art was the only thing that helped and now I can;t move my hands to create it
Most of these people love you! All of us are here to support you and if someone else even says something you don't like, you can always delete their comments. And At least I'm here, to support you no matter what...
and as for the mother thing, I'm really sorry this might be offensive but in my opinion
I think your mother should at least try and help you LIKE SHE CARES. She's your mother so she's supposed to look after you the most! Not let some strangers on the internet take her job. (I'm sorry I just feel like she should act more like a mother instead of brushing your emotions that you're trying to get through right off her shoulders.
-_-)
and if she can't stand the thought of her child needing actually help from someone in person. Then (again i'm sorry if this is offensive) she doesn't deserve to be a mother! Because she doesn't act like one.
I understand if she feels uncomfortable talking about it but, like come on. She's your mother.
SHe would put the blame on her shoulders
she has to deal with the though that her son is probably going to die young and she has nothing she can do about it. Another one of her sons is trying to get money with a minimum wage job enough to fly his fiance out so they can live together
she has to deal with my youngest brother following the footsteps of my brother who is getting closer to a heart attack each day
not to mention she knows I have a hard time focusing and she knows I have depression that she can't fix because she can't afford therapy and the pills will completely destroy my head.
and then she has to work with patients who she cares about and fill out their death certificate. She fought her own battle with depression and almost killed herself. Except that would leave us kids with a man she didn;t think would do us any good . But he almost killed himself too.
I'm not going into what the abuse did to her either as a child
it's not her fault
she doesn't need anything more to use to beat herself
Although she knows it's not her fault she will always feel like it is
That or feel horrible because she knows what her children are going through and she can't do anything to help them
I feel bad now because I said mean stuff about her. I understand why though now. I didn't know before. I'm really sorry about that.
It's ok, you didnt know
but that's a reason I am so worried about telling her
I understand. I also feel bad about this and it's not your fault, I just need a break from helping with this. I'm not really good at helping peopleand when the time comes, I always hesitate because I don't want to mess anything up. This isn't your fault, but I just need to take a break.
I don't have the answer to your problems.
I'm not magic.
But I hop everything gets better for you some day...
I get that
thanks
i'm going to watch some kitten videos so I can feel better
Comment removed
