no)

there r the sols causing stress and theres a guy whos trying ti get me to come iut and smoke weed with him liek. outof school in his car to a park with some if his friends who im pretty sure are guys and im being the therapist friend for one of my friends dramas ahain and i feel obligated to comfort them to the best of my ability even thiugh i know i dont have the menetal health for it right now and yesterday they hurt themselves and it justadding onto my stress along with a guy i barely know telling me to meet up w him monday no matter what i say. ive told him i cant and hes like okay well come to the cafeteria on monday and my mindset is making me anxious because of past relationships with men and theres judt too much happeninb and i cant do it but i feel like i cant talk to judt abt anyone because i dont want to upset them or pile how i feel on top of what i already have to comfort them sbout

and theres someone i know Nd i cant stop thinking about how i was basically a replacement for them until they got in a relationship and then they became distand again and i even mentioned it to them wintout telling them it was them and they were like ohhh no:( oh gtg my sister is bothering me! and usually when i say hi they just meow which i dont usually mind but id like a "hi hru:)" sometimes bc they were one of my closest friends and now theyre so distannt its like they dont want me anymore and i start overthinking because i know im childihs and annoying half the time but i cant control it no matter how hard i want to because i was robbed of my childhood anndnow im like a big child n im doing so badin school im just so overwhelmed and burnt out and my mental state is so bad

i feel a lot like . mitski ricky montgomery and bo burnams inside, all eyes on me, and goodbye.rn so overwhelmed n i haveny been able to exptess myself or let it out privately because ive been too busy taking care of otherrs

sometimes i wish i wasnt brought into the world against my will because im struggli my so muhc and ive expressed my concerns to my mom but she always says "if this is true im sorry but if not it can put u in a lot of danger and blah blah stuff abt risks and what can happen and pep talk on how adults dont get help they get put into crazy psych wards" and its like she wont hear me out or believe me like how am i supposed to get better if my parents just shut me down and terrorize me with thoughts that im faking everything and expressinh to people will just get me put in a straight jacket and padded room with crazy people

while i have other thoughts abt how i ahte myself and the things i do and how i act and things i wish i could take back or undo

im going to end up having another crisis if things dont calm down soon because theres too much happening and its giving me anxiety and making me overthing

sory thats a lot