I can’t even help anyone on vents. All I say is “oh” cause I don’t know to fking react. Why am I like this? Why?

I want to fking die, but I’m scared ppl will think I’m faking,,why tf do I care so much abt other ppl’s opinions. Why do I care how they feel abt me? Why tf do I always want to please ppl.

Why do I feel ppl hardly talk to me if I talk to ppl every day

Why can’t I keep a fking friend.

Why do I get so paranoid?

Why, why do I have to be me?

I hate myself I hate my body I hate everything abt me.

I wanna cry and I can’t. I can’t anymore

But I keep smiling? I’m scared to ask for help, I don’t want to seem crazy. I want someone to love me? Why, why am I like this. I wanna pull out my hair and no one can fix that

Imma go get a knife and burn it. Imma press it against my skin and full the pain. I deserve it. I can’t do shit.

,at be I was faking, holy crap ppl are making me question if I’m faking or not.

Maybe*

Bro why does my actions keep being questioned? I can’t anymore I want to die, WHY DIDNT I JUST FKING KILL MYSELF THEN AND THERE. WTF. I DONT WANT TO FKING CRY BUT THE TEARS ARE FORMING. BRO I JUST WANNA DIE AND IDK HOW TO COPE WITH IT. I CANT FIND ANYTHING, ANYTHING. I can’t be a fking good friend. I can’t be anything good. I’m probably just forcing ppl to be my friend.

Bro I have never felt good abt myself, I want to. I want to so badly and my brother is considered he wants me to eat. My mom thinks I eat but I don’t. I can’t, I eat at midnight cause I get bored but then hate myself I can’t even starve myself.

How do I explain how tf I feel, I can’t at all. School is coming up and I’m scared, what if I can’t get through it? What if I fail? What if I’m just still the disappointment I always was.

Lol I have so many things I hate abt myself Like why am I so clingy? Why am I ether over confident or under. Why do I almost never have motivation anymore. Why do I ask myself so many questions I can’t answer Why am I jealous of ppl who can keep a stable relationship Why do o always want to be someone else.

Hah, why do I add “lol” or “hah” to a vent knowing I’m fking terrible. Knowing I’m not laughing I’m fking crying. I’m so fking dumb and I can’t even explain it. Lol I post the next day after I vent like everything is amazing and great. But it’s not I’m still falling apart and it hasn’t been fixed. It’s crazy, my mom isn’t mentally abusive anymore but it still hurts. It still feels like im a burden.

It’s crazy cause even if my brother is turning into a less judgmental person I still feel insecure when he calls me ugly.

Bro I was in 3rd grade when some kid called me a ***** and I still feel like a disappointment

Holy shot, what’s that brain? U hate me and want me to die in a hole? Same here <33

Lol I’m sorry knife that I use to burn my skin. I’ll wipe the burns off of u <33

Lol yea u don’t have to read it.

Thanks. Can’t say that helped the problem.

It’s up to uwhat u do.

I think it all secretly makes me a bad person. Just in disguise. Like they r my friends and I feel so useless for them

Yea, ig.

Thanks

And it’s amzing u tried! Like u said it’s better then nothing