broken- and for good (RANT
by:
AwesomeEMKgiraffe 
193
193
18.07.2022
14 comments
AwesomeEMKgiraffe[OP]
18.07.2022 02:18
Linkone or two people will care. and that is fine.at least some one does.
AwesomeEMKgiraffe[OP]
18.07.2022 02:24
Linkgive or take. im a useless piece of reality anyways. The only thing really cool about me are my characters.
So. my mom has been trying for me to be more comfortable around my stepdad- and nothing has worked. I can't breathe right now, and I lost my inhaler. I cant do anything right. Everytime im around him, I have to get away, back into a corner, hide my face, get out of there as soon as possible. its a natural reflex, and I can't break it. And, when in extended periods of time, I loose all feeling sensations, including physical pain,and just start shaking. Mom gets mad at me and say im not trying. Excuse me. I am. Im trying so hard. I just... cant. what is wrong with me? I know its ptsd. Ive been to so many counselors. Its just never enough. it gets better, then its horrible, and I plunge down into the cold depths. I feel sick at the idea of just talking to him. Im broken.
This isnt how a human should act.
wtf is wrong with me
I'm here all ears, I probably won't be able to help but I just hope you get better
Nothing is wrong with you tbh most of the time I just wait for you all day Is to talk to you and mostly just because of you, yes I hyperfixate on ghost and croy but you're a great person, if anything ever happens with your step dad tell your mom or call 911 no matter what, you might feel bad but its important, and the trauma responses are a normal person thing, its just how the brain responses to trauma and therapy and talking about it can ease the pain, I know I'm not really a good help but I just really don't want you to get hurt at all ily/platonic
I wont hurt myself. not again. I can guarantee that... I have called child protective services before, but they cant do anything unless he physically hurts me. And I love Ghost and Croy's relationship.
it is. its a nice way to distract my mind. thats why i like rps so much- its kind of sad, really
Its kind of fun to find people who cope in the same way of me it's fun (not the harmful ways but like the silly goofy ways)
Yeah it is. Its less painful. and less traumatizing. and less noticeable. you dont have to hide anything *typically*