the worst part of rejection is waiting for it. I understand the frustration of knowing you have issues and feeling powerless to solve them because you fear rejection from anyone. Some people aren't nice, it's not an irrational fear. It says a lot that you haven't given up yet. Sure, maybe you haven't done much to give up on, but that fact that you're reaching out right now shows that you're trying, and you don't need to struggle with this alone. I know it's scary, more than anything, you think you'll fail at anything new you try to do and get belittled for it. Of course you'll fail, failure is growth, it's human to try and fail and learn something new. People aren't always receptive to you, people will always try and drag you down because they can't handle failure, and for some god awful reason they hate to see you succeed. You're a really strong person, and if you need someone to talk to, or just someone to rant to, message me on Discord or come find me here.