So they did, good for them on being able to vent about it lol- what would you like yo hear, cause if you wouldn't mind id like to hear all your questions and what you want to know, cause I've been feeling sick of the matter

Idk if it has been clear im not to normal, I've never had friends before middle school, and it was one of my first times being online. So I've grown up eith a sister who got complements for things id do, and every time someone would copy me I got scared, cause in my family it would have felt like my place was being taken. They would start doing things after I would and it would throw me into a panic if it was legit something to keep me alive. The God thing was exsposed to be something to get my confidence back up cause its all to shit, and just like a ton of other things they copied that, and for ir something truly trying to keep me alive I was panicking, begging for them to just let me have it. Not even for that long just so I could get back on track. I never said it was my word, but when a person copies you and starts doing something after you do it hurts. I cut my hair they cut their hair, the style thing continued going on, id sing they'd sing id animate they would animate. It wasn't feeling like a

Friend ship for me, cause all it looked like to me was a mirror or something,, But ik my thinking wrong, I think way to fast react fast and all that. Peppermint was one of my best friends, the only person I saw as my friend, and one day they just changed. Yes I get I may have over reacted, but if someone all of a sudden changed on you wouldn't it take a bit to get use to? They weren't as pushy or like harsh with there greetings, I took so much time trying to understand her and then she changed and it scared me. And not having many friend interactions how would one deal with one who changed so emencly And don't get me wrong its not like I wish ill of them. They just made me feel stupid, feel wrong and alone, no mater how many followers I had they would have more friends as it looked to me. And id try making new friends too and they would come to me asking if I was replacing em-

And also lemme point out I've been working on my self alone. Other people get to get therapy and the help they need, but in being friends with them I was alone, cause in no way did I want people to attack them or go at them

I get i wasn't the best person so dont think you need to make me know. It was probably about the God thing, cause I dont remember any other time where I begged so hard, if not then it probably was but my memories terible. I worked hard on a drawing a realistic drawing I was proud of, she laughed at it saying it reminded her of a meme. I didnt say anything along the lines of her copying me on that, but that did hurt. Something I was proud of,, and all they could do was laugh and say it was scary. I was always fearful of them copying me and I cant explain where it came from but if there saying it was that bad to the point my drawings were her copying me then I feel like its not what happened. Mind I say, we use to be best friends, they changed, started getting more harsh, they even told me once that they were trying to drop me and it destroyed me.

Ik I may be wrong on this point but its what it looked like to me,, id have enough and try leaving, check their account and they were trying to kill themself, so id get scared and race back to make sure they lived afterwards. But the only time they really wanted to or tried was when I was trying to leave,, and this may judt be me over thinking, but in the relationship towards the end it was like I was soffacating, cause if I said the wrong thing shed be mad, if I talked or joked or tried clearing something up she'd be mad. She would always be mad-

I feel like with the idol thing may have been exaggerated but I am not saying her feelings on the matter are wrong of her. She can feel how ever she want for the matter, it wouldn't concern me. But recently vented on my tic tok cause I feel like all the blame was placed on me, and ik in some points yeah it was righr, but it was to the point I blamed myself for everything I hated my self, and she said I was trying to play the victim, tho I told her I was only telling things as I saw it and would loved for jt to be cleared up, if they could tell me to get out of my head that im thinking wrong or something lol

And its alright she said her side, she always does that and thats fine of a person to do so, but it would always solo me out. I got attacked 3 times once on my birthday, cause I was trying to clear up something. And I know where I went wrong but I was alone in the friendship for the longest time

I was scared cause she would always win people over people would always like her and not try to see my side. And I always get scared cause what could she be saying about me, my ex use to think my reactions were bull. She use to think I had no reason but after me telling my side she was neutral.

They also changed after I broke up with my ex the first time. And I was alone when they changed I couldn't go to anyone cause I was afraid, she talked to everyone I did and I didnt want to vent to them and make them hate her cause even now I believe she doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve to feel stacked against like I have, cause I go thru it it would be wrong to force it on another.

But with the tic tok thing, I vented, I never said anything about it all being her fault, I vented about how some things made me feel like I was soffacating, that I couldn't breath while being friends with her, but she liked it, and so did her boyfriend like one of my video. I didnt feel safe so I had to move accounts and block them both on the new account. I dont know why she was on my tic tok. But it scared me cause I thought it was over

Yeah,, everyone does thats why im scared to be on. People must hate me but I couldn't even try explaining my side now, cause what right would I have, id deserve it

Yeah. I get im wrong and need improvement, and im still trying to figure that out. How to get better myself, cause I csnt get a therapist cause of financial problems. Even so im a teenager, still technically a kid, and im expected not judt from her but from a ton of other people like my parents that I have to be mature. Thst I can't feel ways about things else id get yelled at As I was going thru with peppermint it wasn't just her so my actions weren't right. I was going thru my childhood dog dying maybe judt a year before, I was dealing with a sister who tells me to kill myself, with a mom who gives me no voice, and a dad I misunderstood

Yeah, and things u haven't learned yet. Causr sometimes if someone says something I automatically believe it cause I hesred to better, but anyone I talked to in person said that I had to much self hate, that I wasn't only in the wrong that there's 2 sides.

I think so too ight ill stop bothering ya, honestly I was really scared when you asked me to talk lol- but your a really great person. Thank you for trying and understanding my side. Dont hate on them cause of anything I say, they don't deserve that.

Fsir thank you. I hope ur night or day is good. Usually people don't try to see my side or I mix something up and say something wrong, there was still some more things they did to me thay hurt and all that but yeh

Nah get some sleep it doesn't really matter lol judt more of my over thinking and over reacting probably