This mess of a home I left for six years Now covered in my deepest darkest fears Spiders crawling everywhere Nowhere left to hide Why is it like this Why am I compelled to stay inside This house is not home But another state of mind It's not home But another different time A time not far off from here and not too long ago A time where I won't be ready to kept go I refuse to accept that this is fact I hear my shoes going "tap tap tap" On the kitchen tiles where I sat sat satt Until I threw up because of the lack lack !ask Of nutrients Who knows how many days I sacrificed to being angry at myself because I could not realize That the house I had lived in wasn't alive no If wasn't safe That would have been my time to go

After, like really soon after I have these flashbacks of maniacal laughter As she slaughtered The hope inside my heart That she could be a better mother I remember crying Crying so much I felt sick And in this old abandond house Feeling feelings? You were punished for it I remember being angry at myself telling me I did everything wrong Why couldn't I see that was why I was in the wrong I'm this old abandons house I never got to see The shining light of happiness Getting sprinkled on my feet Instead I lay on my bed Trying to cry myself to sleep before she goes ahead And yells at me

Because that's what I wanted it to And thank again