Like I am in a romantic relationship with someone and that person is super ****ing draining. They always want my attention, they don't understand how I express love and affection, they are constantly in a state that annoys me because I am not like that and it is gross. Then of course I have 2 other friends. One is a chaotic ball of energy that is almost always in some sort of crisis or wants attention and they other friend basically only talks to me if they are in a crisis and need to calm down.

Quarintine has helped me a lot with understanding why I suffer so much and how to deal with myself, but it has taught me that I really don't get people and I often overshare my own time and energy which is bad for me and my health.

But the thing is that I am an empath with a really strong mother instinct so it's hard for me to regulate my time and energy. I don't think I'm cut out for strong emotional relationships though and even though I do want a romantic relationship i honestly don't think that I will find one where it isn't just super draining for me. Eh well whatever. I am just sharing some thoughts that I just need to get out to somewhere because i suck at communicating my feelings to people that are close to me and I have a bad history of bottling up my thoughts and emotions until it leads to anger and a freak out so yeah just ignore this.