you have to make sure they know why. It wasn't their fault, it isn't his fault. just write what you practiced Donnie, you've rehearsed this. He's gone Donnie you know this. you have to hurry Donnie Leo will be home soon, he's the one that has to find you Donnie. It cant be Mikey, please don't be Mikey.

he's the strong one, but he'll break if he see's you doing it, it has to be irreverisble. I ask whatever god may be out there that Angelo won't find me, please, please, Leo find me first. hurry up Donnie, for once in your lifetime grammar doesn't matter. I'm driven, c'mon everyone says youre the most driven so just do this, please just do it.

everything all I know is gone everything I've built for us, this life I started for us is destroyed. everything I've grown to love, every material relationship I've made since I was a child is destroyed. my child is destroyed. He's dead. I'm not supposed to be attached, I was never meant to get attached. I don't understand what it is inside me that is making me feel this way, I feel empty nothing makes sense, Im the science brother, I'm the smart one, but I don't know why I feel like this, I hypothosieis that I will never feel the same after that.

I'm really doing this. I'm really killing myself over a robot, this isn't rational stop now. No, stop, he was your son, your life has no meaning. Yes it does Donnie you can rebuild him, you can start anew.

No, stop, stop, he won't be the same, you can't replace him, he is your baby. No he WAS your baby. HURRY UP DONNIE. do it now Donnie. Donnie everything is set up, you've been planning this since it happened Donnie it's been two years I need to do it now.

I don't want my eyes to sting anymore, I don't have the patience to lie anymore, I'm not okay. Leo, please tell them I wasn't okay please tell them this isn't a fit of passion, or boredom seeping in. I'm not okay anymore, I think I never was. Put the pen down Donnie you're writing too much the ink is smearing the page is soaking, it's fine Donnie, I record everything. Okay, it's happening I'm doing it. Don't look up, don't look at that picture. okay you're standig up, I'm standing up.

easy part, get on top of the desk, put, okay yeah, like that slip it around you're neck, make sure it's tight. oh my god, do I actually want to do this, I'm in position, no going back, get it over with. Go now do it he'll be home soon just.

I'm slipping, let go. He screws his eyes tight and steps off the desk. The panic starts to set in, I'm not supposed to be alive, Im not supposed to be suffocating, my spinal cord was supposed to snap. no, no, no, please I don't like this, this was supposed to be easy. out of panic he grasps the rope around his neck looking up to push it off. NO, you idiot, you weren't supposed to look up, now you can see them, no please, I was wrong I don't want to leave them I don't want to give up on my family. why can't I pull myself up everything is fuzzy, my lungs burn. I can't control my arms, I'm loosing circulation. who's going to take care of them now?

LEO'S POV Donnie is going to love this, this counts as his birthday present right? I mean it doesn't even have pineapple on it. Hueso is taking his sweet time on Donnie's pizza, I'm so hyped for this I can't even sit still. We turn sixteen tonight I sway my hip and lean on the wall. I wonder what Donnie got me, it better be spectacular. I mean I'm paying DOUBLE for this. not that the gift matters, but it does matter.

"Huesssoooooo, when will it be done?" I whine "it will be done, when it is done, you can't rush art Leonardo" he replied, gesturing his jewel encrusted pizza cutter at me. I huff and cross my arms.

Leo don't you know, hurry up your brother is dead, Leo get going, your twin doesn't have much longer. I think the heat of the kitchen is getting to me. I'm sweating a bit, my hands are slippery. When I get home I am going to have to help dad put up the streamers, lets hope my hands aren't this sweaty. UH this is taking forever Donnie's going to be asleep by the time I get home. He's been sleeping a lot more, I think he may be upset, but I wouldn't say depressed. I just don't know why'd he be upset, he built the best lair we've ever had, and don't forget the new mystic weapon. He's finally starting to understand the science of magic.

Hurry up Leo you can still save him. leave now Leo NOW NOW NOW NOW. "Jeeze bone man, it doesn't need to be that fancy," I say tapping my hands impatentally. "you will cope," he replied a smirk playing on his face. LEO HE'S RUNNING OUT OF TIME LEO, LETS MOTOR LEO. I sit on the floor, the kitchen tile is slippery. it's kinda gross. A shudder passes through my body, I feel something is wrong, maybe it's burnt? This is so boring. not to seem impaitent but yeesh c'mon now Hueso

"bone daddy can yo-" I'm interrupted by Hueso shoving a pizza box into my arms "do not ever call me that again." he demanded, deadpanned. HURRY UP LEO GO HOME LEO HE'S IN THE LAB LEO. "thanks man, I owe you big time" I remark as I saunter off "yes, preferably money," he shouts after me, leaning over the counter.

I strut to the exit and leave with my back. I better get home fast so the pizza doesn't get cold, pizza supreme knows Donnie hates cold cheese. I put the pizza on the ground, let's hope it didn't rain last night. Slipping on my hoodie, so I can blend in of course. SCOOP UP THE PIZZA AND LETS GOOO. oh the sweet sweet smell of NEW YORK CITY, actually not that sweet, stop smelling Leo. This is going to be the best birthday EVER. We are throwing a party and both our dad's are going to be there. I think April might make it this time, she's been so busy with school, it's her senior year. Mikey made the BEST cakes, well I guess CAKE Donnie didn't want one this year. Too bad because he's getting a cheesey cake. Raph made him a plushie? thing? Oh and don't forget dad got him that new coding program that he wanted. I'm pretty sure April didn't get him anything, but I don't blame her, New York is not cheap, espically for a student. oh this is disgusting, who thought spitting gum onto the side walk would be a

socially acceptable thing. I round a corner, careful to not bump into anyone. RUN LEO FASTER LEO. This day is so nice, it's chilly but still sunshiney. Oh and don't forget the clouds they're so puffy and the sun reflects them faboulsly. I wonder if Donnie is going to make me something again, I hope his suprise is cool. We've been doing gift exchanges since we were like six. It's been ten years now and I love it. I've grown so much as a person, everyone has. Mikey turned fifteen and somehow became more emotinally intelligent, he's been hangning with Donnie more, which makes me a bit disapointed I wish I could spend time with Mikey. Oh and ever since I became leader, Raph has chillaxed a bit more, well not much but a smidge. Donnie, well I haven't noticed a change, in a while. I know he has diffuclty processing change and emotions, but I know he's the brainy one, though I'll never admit it, so maybe he doesn't need to evolve anymore.

LEO PLEASE A BIT FASTER JUST BE FASTER I pick up the pace, don't want it to get cold. Oh OH MY GOSH look tiny babies awww, they're holding onto that tension rope to keep them together. That seems a bit dangerous they're having an old lady walk a group of children in THIS city?!?! no, no this won't do.

"all y'all part ways-" I say pushing people out of their way "we got some very important people coming through," I fake march with the kids as some swap suspicisons of me being a police officer, or super hero. ARNNT WROOONGGG IM THE BIRTHDAY BOY. I slide the box across my shoulders and keeping going my swollen pace. The air is colder than expected, it's mid july and I'm loving it. I love summer it's definetally my favorite. Donnie prefers winter, he likes the frost on windows and foggy breath. When we were little he used to pretend to be a dragon and make puffs of air at me. He's such a nerd I swear, but I do like the ice-skating and the eggnog. I think raph prefers the spring, because that's when all the animals come out or something. Oh right I need to remind Baron to bring the frosting for Mikey. Slipping my phone from my pocket I scroll through my collections of contacts (because I'm so popular) and land on him. It's ringing Leo please,

"What?" he answers flatly "Hey, sheepman, I'm doing good, you pick up the frosting yet?" I ask "No I'll leave now, does he need gel or buttercream?" He groans and I hear something crunch as he gets up "The uh the one that goes on the cake, nailed it" "fine I'll get butter cream" He hangs up the phone and I mumble something along the lines of his manners. Still, I'm glad he's participating in our lives, Splinter can use the helping hand sometimes. Not that we are a hand full, Im an angel always. I pivot the corner, almost home now, just a block or too. Leo...

Man I love our birthday, everything goes just how I like. When I get home the first thing I'll do is give this to Donnie, I love giving gifts. I don't know why but it gets me all excited, I just want it to be meaningful. Nothing's more meaning full then a steaming hot pizza with all his favorites. I should maybe hurry up, it looks like it's going to rain. New York is always so dreary when it rains. Mikey loves the rain though, he says "it's sooooooooo calming". OH MY GOSH A CAT, I crouch down and rub my fingers together making a 'pspsp' as the grey feline creaps toward me. It brushes it's fur up against my knuckles, aw it's so soft.

"In honor of my ugliest brother, I am naming you Donnie!" I exclaim whilst scratching it behind the ears. I recieve a 'Mroow' in response. I give it a stroke down it's spine and straighten up. It leaves paw prints trailing to my legs and grinds it's cheek against my ankle. "Goodbye Donnie," I say with a wave, I bow to the cat and continue on my path. The kitty trots behind me, I guess it's coming home with me. Donnie LOVESSS cats, he'll be totally hype to meet his kitty counterpart. Maybe I'll ask if Raph can knit it a collar, it can be purple just like Donnie. I speed walk down the side walk with a huff. It's erriely quiet, just me, the cat, the pizza, and the clouds. I love days like this, it's so rare to get quiet moments in this town. Something in the window caught my eye. The item dangled in the display. Donnie kitty rub up against my calf, and I look down at it. I pivot back on the path, almsot home now. "kitty you're going to love it down here" I say

turning the corner I scoop up the feline and slide into the sewers, home sweet home. I put the cat down, it seems shaken up from the entrance. OOO I'm so excited, I saunter across the ramp room and up a ladder. Donnie's going to love this. I hum 'happy birthday' as I near his room. "Don, Donnie, Donatello, I got a surprise for youuu," I sing. I welcome myself in, jeeze it's dark in here. He really needs to stop living in the dark, it's not good for his eyes. "Dude you need to start turning your lights on," I remark as I flip on the switch I glance up in search for my twin and pure horror fills my body as my blood drains to my feet. You're too late Leo.