Want skin that's smooth and soft? Then buy our bubble transformer! It'll turn you into a bubble, and Bubble's skin is super smooth! None of the people in our survey said they didn't like it, because they popped before we could contact them, and we don't sell personal bubble recovery centers, so they died. So, yeah, buy now!

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*Weird noise* Isn't that a wonderful noise? Well, now you can listen to that noise 24/7 thanks to our revolutionary headphones. Listen to it while you walk. Listen to it while you sleep. These headphones only play the noise, Well why would you want to listen to anything else? They also have a volume up button, but, no volume down button. And best of all, our super glue makes them un-removable. So, yeah, buy now!