I feel sick...........
25 comments
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:42
Link****, I told myself I wouldn’t make anymore depressing animations because it did nothing for me.. and now here I am making a bunch of them..
It just feels like I’m being suffocated.. I’ve been constantly feeling dizzy and sick.. like I ****ing cried in front of everyone at school....
I’m such a ****ing idiot, why did I do that?? Usually I can at least wait until I go to bed and cry by myself.. but I just couldn’t wait.. idk why..
I’m just getting sick of the situation I’m in right now, I wasn’t thinking it would be this long. I truly do wish awhile go when I did try to end everything I just committed to it so I wouldn’t have to be going through the shit I’m going through right now.
And I feel so guilty for saying that, it’s like there so many people that have it way worse than me.. and I’m sitting here complaining.. I just wish I could tell someone everything that has happened.. and I did have that person...
But there’s so many stories I couldn’t tell someone all in one
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:43
Linkall in one go... but yeah :/
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:46
LinkAlso every once in awhile I will feel my heart physically hurt, I wasn’t just being metaphoric.. it just.. idk how to describe it, it’s like there’s a ton of pressure on it or something.. idk
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:48
LinkAnd I feel extremely dizzy..
(wow I just won’t stop will I)
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:52
LinkI wish I would just go to sleep and never wake up again.. it’s all just too much..
But yeah.. if I really want to end it.. I have a plan.. I’ve thought about this so much a have a plan A, plan B and half of a plan C..
(I need to stop.. I’ll stop..)
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 06:54
LinkI wish I could do it tonight though.. but I would have to wait until I’m at school..
Like I’m not going to.. but.. yeah :/
I feel like I’m going to throw up..
****.
Why did I let this go on for so long..
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:00
LinkI remember when I was like.. 8 maybe I was like “since I’ll be with my mom I’m not going to have a shit teenage life” (because there was a lot of jokes about it in my school..)
Well now I’m 13 and my dad just.. ruined what I said.. whatever though..
(****, sorry for the nobody that sees this, I’ll stop )
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:07
LinkI feel like I’m loosing my ****ing mind..
And.. I’m scared I might do something.. I used to do..
I don’t want to head down that path again it was hard to get out of..
Fuuuccckkkkk :(
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:08
LinkWhy am I even still typing shit? No ones going to take the time to read all of this.. xD
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:10
Linkactually you know what..
I’m doing it on Monday.. I’m tired of this ****ing shit
I’m tired of feeling alone and upset
I’m tired of having to cheer myself up.. it’s not working anymore.
Thepapersandwich
10.12.2017 07:19
LinkNo, please. Just because your life might be terrible doesn’t mean you are, or that you should leave. If you stick through it, things will get better. You are only 13, and have so much life to live ahead of you. Please.
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:23
LinkWell seeing that for the past year most people ignored me unless they had to talk to me or I was the only one they knew in that class.. idk I must be pretty terrible..or just easily hated..
Also I have been trying to stick through it.. for like.. a year and a half.. (which I know people have had to deal with stuff for longer.. but it’s just too much for me..)
Thepapersandwich
10.12.2017 07:28
LinkAre you maybe a quiet kid? If you put yourself out there to be loved or be friendly people will gradually want to be around you more. If somebody can’t see how amazing you are that’s their loss. The way to get through hard times like this, however hard they are, is to love yourself, no matter what. And by golly you deserve that love.
Thepapersandwich
10.12.2017 07:29
Link1-800-273-8255
http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:32
LinkI am a quiet.. but I have tried a few times to be more extroverted and no one cared..
(Sorry it just feels like I’m going back and forth with you.. but thank you)
Thepapersandwich
10.12.2017 07:35
Link(It’s fine to go back and forth with me, I like to think it’s helping you somehow. But I have to go to bed now. :( can you promise me you can talk tomorrow?)
KaylaBlue[OP]
10.12.2017 07:37
LinkYeah.. I can
Goodnight
Thepapersandwich
10.12.2017 07:38
LinkThank you ?
goodnight
No, I do want to. I did some thinking and decided I would extend a hand of friendship to you.
(anxiety isn't something to be sorry about, it's okay to be anxious. Don't worry, you didn't seem rude at all ^^)