TW: hey guys :) um haha hello. everything is really shit. i do say that a lot but its true. my mental health and physical health is ****ed rn. ive been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, crippling anxiety, depressed, etc. its just been really rough honestly and im used to crying myself to sleep or even everyday. i know my mother just wants me to be my best but her yelling at me for being negative and not trying isnt helping. i really am trying, but this shit isnt something i can fix over night. i feel so lost and just wanna end everything right now. but, i wont. im fighting so much and so hard. and its really hard, okay. im sorry for anything i do, mental health isnt an excuse for my behavior but it is an explanation. also living in a pandemic doesnt exactly help. i really just wanna hug. i just wanna hear that everythings going to be okay.