the lines are asstraight as me
by:
Cherrygirl855 
253
253
17.02.2021
368 comments
Cherrygirl855[OP]
17.02.2021 22:12
Link"These lines are as straight as me"
FIRST OF ALL FOR THE TTLE thats the best joke I've heard all day!))
also YES))
I actually ate, i'm boutta make myself a tea, i got 4 hrs of sleep...im doing better than usual))
but they still don't know about my job... and Im unsure how they will react.
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oh I thought you were talking about only this year... in that case I've got around 9203 in my hitman career.
poor you, it's not fun if you aren't in fear for your life. You are way ahead of me tho, i need to catch up.
oh if only I could have seen you then... walking out with blood all over your body...oh just thinking about it~
Just cause I like to see you flustered. Now I think I should go and tell them about my job...
No! angel is still recovering from his dad being abusive, how do think he'll react to you being a hitman? He'll be terrified
not like id hurt them. plus the quicker I do this the quicker they can recover. at least that's what my dad always said *gets up and walks out of the room*
*my mind: nope* *creates an energy barrier around the door keeping him from leaving without being turned to dust*
I know your shield is broken with strong emotions. like being flustered!
it might be your day off but~ couldn't you do it. for your favorite fan~
*drops the barrier and covers my face while having a nosebleed* OKAY OKAY YOU WIN
Faith: hmm...why? angel already told me about her job as a stripper
what about my job tho. plus I think it would be JUST GRAND if she came out here!
FINE *walks out holding a tissue to my nose and really red* **** you
yes...yes they are. but I need you here to help angel when Im finished...
Faith: Fine, then me and angel are leaving with mom's credit card UnU
Wait-
*she takes my credit card*
Hey stop!
children give it back it was just my way of flirting. now come back here, please. and tbh I'm disappointed you didn't try to steal my credit card. I have 9203 deaths and all of them have been paid.
Faith: awwww fine....but when are we gonna get a baby sibling? *she says as she puts it back*
Me? Your acting like im the one imitating a strippers routine...and doing a very bad job at it might i add
coming from the real one. you should have seen her out there. she said a few words and they started to make it rain.
Angel: of course they did, she's the most famous stripper in the country, people travel from everywhere just to see her...
*slides each of the kids a check* stay silent about what happened tonight and their are more coming your way...understand?
*they nod and I start changing in my room with the door closed*
...where I came from its called breakfast. so I'm going to go get that one. be right back.
*goes into the room to find the mouse* *BANG* you can come back in now. *walks out with the mouse and puts its dead body in the freezer.*
*puts a pill in one of them* * hands you the one without the pill* here you go.
its a game...called I have never. you say something that you have never done. but the other person has. if your right and they have done it then they have to drink. if your wrong and they have never done it you have to drink. the winner is the one that is the last one still standing.
so know you would have to drink and now its your turn to say I have never to me.
hmmm....fine...
*takes a drink*
I have never followed someone home
*takes a drink* i have never....i have never made a brown and sticky joke
*takes a big drink* I have never gotten drunk off of less than one glass of wine
*I pick him up and set him in bed and i go out on the couch to sleep and im gone before anyone get's up in the morning*
Id use the static but I don't think that I'd be able to tune it very well.
*makes a healthy breakfast for the kids* *makes mouse pancakes for himself*
*they sit down and start eating and I walk out of the bathroom with a towel on and goes to my room and starts getting dressed*
*I walk back out in a t-shirt and a skirt and sit on the couch with my ears down*
what do you mean? all i did was go to a meeting with my manager...and now i have no job bc he fired me after refusing to leave me the **** alone about being "his property" so i killed him...
(think: he would have died by my hands if you hadn't)
well, you already have a body count so why not join me on this next job...I could really use some help.
do it your damn self *looks irritated and upset at you with ears still down*
ok...
*grabs m99 and a few rounds* Ill be back by dinner...if I'm not...then I have been taken or kill...probably killed. *laughs as he walks out*
*burst through the door covered in bloody bandages and soaked in blood. his own and others* did you miss me?
*I'm completely passed out from drinking on the couch with 6 cans and an empty wine bottle next to me*
*the kids are out and left a note saying they went to hang out with friends*
(thinks: good now they won't have to worry about these bullet wounds.) *takes off blood clothes and changes into fresh ones as well as hiding the bandages of his leg and chest.*
do you even know what you said to me last night? *my ears go down even more*
A little bit roughed up around the edges but more the most part IM JUST FINE! ^W^ (thinking: god I hate lying to her)
just to let you know my healing ability does work on other people
...I...don't need to be healed. that client owes me a lot of money for that one!
*helps her up* plus I think you're a bit too far to be healing anything.
not too badly (thinks: well not compared to when I lived with my parents.)
heh...i've healed people from almost death in worse condition....
*hic* can you pull the bullets *hic* out so the wound doesn't close around them
*hic* just do it! once you do*hic* it will only hurt for a few *hic* seconds before it's fully healed
You won't like what im gonna do to myself first, but i'll explain later *grabs a pocket knife and stabs it into my leg*
*pulls the bullets out and quickly heals you once they are out as if it never happened*
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*the blood starts trickling out and i heal myself* my healing ability won't work unless im in pain
*picks up on throws on the couch* you need to stay on there. *gets on the couch as well*
*mumbles* call me a bitter or a killer and anything else that you want to. cause I've been too long unforgiven. say goodbye to my heaven and the darkness I have risen cause I'm content to be the villain. call me twisted or a sinner. demon monster sinner it's all true. *starts mumbling nonsense.
*im still asleep*
Faith: uhhh da- i mean wyatt, what are you talking about?
Faith: WYATT!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
*her screaming wakes me up*
Babe? Are you okay? *its the first time ive called you anything other than wyatt*
im all of those things a killer, a sinner, a demon a monster, bitter and twisted.
yes, but your also sweet and kind....at least to me, and that's all that matters
*realizes he was asleep when he said that and blushes hoping he didn't hear her*
you were saying stuff like: "I'm a monster and a killer" and "you just wanted power right"
you shouldn't be here. *touches the tv screen as it starts to make an earsplitting static noise*
*starts to whimper quiet enough you didn't hear me as i listen in*
*whimpers louder and fully covers my ears, but they are wolf ears so i can still hear it well*
*the noise stops as I fall to the ground still making a quiet static noise*
I'll just find another strip club to hire me, after all i am "black"
ye I guess your right...sorry about all that racket. I forgot to take my pill today... in fact found you go and get my pill bottle?
...so if angels gay then does he hang out with boys or girls...or both?
*my phones gets a text from someone called "totally not my drug dealer" and it reads (gurl, ur on the news!!)
I join you under the stage name of white you know for a black and white combo.
News reporter: The strip club where the famous stripper black was working has burned down putting her out of work for the time being. There was a body found inside, they have yet to release info on who it was, but stay tuned as we keep the situation updated *I turn off the t.v.*
*my phone starts blowing up from emails* see, told you they would contact me
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working in general id be a good bartender and from how amazingly flustered you got I would be just as good as you at your line of work.
pffft- i only got flustered bc i love you, you didn't do it right at all..
goodness, I make the best! I used to help tend my dad's bar when I was only 8...
*looks at my phone* it's around 8, i should start replying to these
here drink it slowly it's a bit more powerful than you would expect. *sips at mine*
my dad though me that one... he was a b*tch but he really knew how to make a drink.
Im thinking we did what we did last time so you can get 4 hours tonight))
*suppresses giggles* go to s-sleep *feels the effects of his own drink*
*steadys himself* Theirs nothing you can do about it. plus *hic* we have job interviews tomorrow.
eh, whatever *stands up and stumbles to my room getting changed in there forgetting to close the door*
*walks back out and grabs my phone while wearing only underwear and walks back into my room*
News reporter: a few fans of the stripper black have stated they got dm's from her and she was revealing her identity, who would've know her name was #4!!!
if people know that we live here! I'm going to have to buy a better GUN!
*looks out the window and there are people swarming outside* okay...and?
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put something on and get the kids I'm going to get the gun. *grabs the revolver and as many bullets as he can*
plz, just gimme a second *grabs a mini skirt and a crop top on and puts my mask on and walks out and zaps all of them and their blood goes all over me* * i walk back in* and now we are at 1,983
You've been pranked XD That was a pre recording on the t.v and i only told single people who don't know me that well...and well...1,983 ^^ i didn't actually leak my name
... let's JUST GO AND FIND A PLACE TO WORK. *walks out the door with the revolver and his ingredients for cocktails*
well let's just get you a job ok. plus I bet they would love to have some extra hands there.
no, im taking a break this week UnU *walks back outside and disposes of the bodies by frying them till they didn't seem if they were ever there and walks back in covered in blood to find a mop
*Goes to make breakfast* you always find a way to get yourself covered in blood, don't you.
well, you look like a nice rose when you're covered in blood. *sets dinner on the table.*
is that why i always hear you complimenting me when i am? Cus you do know i heard you while i was in the shower right?
let me quote you "god she looks beautiful covered in blood" and sure *goes and changes real quickly and wakes the kids up and they come out to eat, they eat quickly and head off to school*
Faith: Bye mom, by da- i mean wyatt
*they walk off*
...she almost call me dad? UWU I'm getting closer to that status aren't I~
*blushes* e...eh?! don't say it like that...
(im out of 3 am cold tea T-T))
rip))
I can say anything I want like...
need to do better about closing your door when you're getting dressed.
you walked out of your room half nude to grab your phone. *takes his pills*
Im thinking we should stop for today. I want to get some sleep and I want you to at least TRY to get some sleep for me. I'm really happy with the progress that we made so let's do our best to get a little sleep ok))
mk, but i will just go make myself a tea and stay up all night...))
good. know it only for your own good UWU goodnight see you at 5:00))