over and over i hear the sound barking at me that i should know better that im selfish and i know im selfish i'll say that im okay but no, im not ****ing okay! The first ever person i loved has left again and what am i to do what is she to do she cant control it i ****ing know!! but all i wanted was for her to be around just a bit longer and heh, hey, if you add up all the ****ing months its been a year! second person i loved, i stood up and asked ever so bravely got turned down not a month later was begged for another chance then a third and a fourth and a fifth then the series of ****ing yelling and standing my ground once more with my family and my school and the disappearance of one of my few favorite people, i just snapped didn't help i was hearing voices degrading me when i was already at my lowest!! i've built up such a tolerance for manipulation due to my dad that sure i can recognize it very very easily, but i grew up thinking it was normal and okay and its ****ing not!