my dad and i might be moving out from my stepmom! yay! but we cant bring buddy with us and buddy is My Dog and i am His Human and i know my stepmom will dump him on the street because of how energetic buddy is

i wish my stepmom wasnt mentally ill and had worse narcissism than A Certain Former Friend I Had On Here (callout) because then i wouldve actually had a mom figure and not made fictional furries to fulfill that missing spot

and guess what! my stepmom will manipulate my dad enough for him to make us come crawling back! im gonna ****ing shoot her dead at some point!

if my mom didnt leave for opioids and alochol then i wouldve probably be not mentally ill and covered in scars on my arms

im so glad we have a chance of leaving my stepmom because id rather live with me and my dad than with some woman i havent even developed a bond with the 7-8 years i lived here. shes a stranger and nothing else. nobody is considered family to me if they hit me or scream at me or threaten me or kick me on the side of the highway in a wildlife refuge. family loves family, not abuse them.

i think that was probably why i did the things i did to others. my abusive behaviors. because it was learned, in a sense. i think i subconsciously thought that, maybe if im rude and mean just like my stepmom, people would like me. everybody likes her, right?

i was a very impressionable person between 9-13 years old so being told im not good enough and being slapped across the face when i didnt do something exactly correct made me think it was okay to belittle my friends too. i sometimes still have that aggressive behavior, and i apologize to anyone ive ever lashed out at. im trying to better myself

ugh i feel like shiit Goodnigh!