I canf

I love all my dogs so much especially her because even though she's playful and chaotic she's so sweet

Even if I cry and beg we won't be able to keep her

I'm so tired of this its better off if I do kill myself

I have nothing to look forward to anyway

Everything just keeps getting worse and worse and I can't do it anymore

They all just laugh and ignore me when I'm upset

There's no one supporting me barely anyone supporting me at school I don't go to therapy anymore and it's about to be second semester where everything is worse

I hate it I hate asking for things even if they're small Because it makes ME feel guilty I just wanted to cheer up and then it got worse It got worse when I got home and I cant

The constant pain in my ribcage from binding a body I hate The constant migranes in my head because I cry almost everyday The sickness I feel in my stomach when I have to eat yet another microwave meal The pain in my throat from screaming as hard as I could into my pillow It hurts all over constantly and not just physically I can't do anything because no one cares No one cares enough Even of they say they do I'm just writing here because I'm desperate I'm so so desperate for this all to change

My poor girl..I know she's going to be off so much better where she's going My uncles house has a lot of room in the backyard for her to run if she needs it and he seems pretty nice, he doesn't have the anger issues my dad has so even if she messes up and pees in the house, she won't be hit for it I know it's better for her there But she's still my dog

Please please don't take my dog away please I don't know what else I have everyday I'm excited to go home because I can see my dogs

I'm not being sensitive again am I? I just want to be alright again It was a stupid decision to go back to school. It was a stupid decision to get a job. It was all so stupid I'm so ****ing hungry and it hurts my stomach to go to bed without eating but I don't even have the money to keep myself fed I wouldn't have the money to feed my dog either At least if she's put there she'll get fed everyday

I've ruined all my progress All of my good progress is all ****ing gone I'm a bitter person again

If I was dead in my room right now my parents would just be sitting there and watching TV

No one cares when I cry so why should I give the world a second thought if they cry for me not to That sounds so ignorant but it's sorta true Even if it's selfish not to acknowledge the friends I made online

I have no reason to be crying Whether they took my dog or not I still had intentions to kill myself

I wish I were some kind of machine So I wouldn't cry whenever I felt upset I could just keep going like everyone tells me to

I'm a broken record at this point, the reason I'm killing myself is simply because I wasn't wanted nor am I wanted now

There's so many things that lead me to believe that

I haven't even been back at school for even a month and guess who's burnt out already ?

Meee this guy This guy who has a stash of homework in my bag that hasn't even been touched because I'm too tired to even do it when I get home

I could really go for some strawberry Oregon ice cream rn Tillamook makes the best ice cream It's Okay I don't feel bad anymore So I'll just ignore it till the time comes She'll be better off there anyway

I'm so happy we're at least keeping her within our family