Need to lock in a not relapse cuz im 4 days clean and 2 days clean

Bruh ive been so bad lately but i dont want to talk to anyone cuz its too much for anyone to handle so im just doint this to myself

That one time i was depressed and bedrotting for a long while and my step dad literally dragged me out of bed and carried me downstairs and i was kicking and screaming because i didnt want him to touch me and he was just laughing

Me when my parents normalized sexual behavior in front of me and said it was normal and then it turns out thats not normal and im actually traumatized by everything theyve done but okay

How my mom and step dad felt after saying that because i dont have a job or pay the bills or go to jury duty that makes me worth less than them and that they will not treat me equal because i will never be seen that way and then having the audacity to say "i want to hear what you have to say" yeah only cuz u wanna argue and say youre right all the time omfggg