sometimes i say insensitive things, im sorry about that im trying to improve anyways i make mistakes very easily and i jump to conclusions and i panic i am really trying but im just so afraid of making one mistake. My friends keep telling Im not ready for this and I dont care what they think because Im happy and that's what matters im really confused and insecure about my identity, im not really sure what I am. I know I'm somewhere under the transgender umbrella but I dont know what specifically. Right now from what research I've done it seems the case might be genderfluid? Not sure. Some days Im fine with my body but some days it hurts to look in the mirror and see I look like a girl. Some days my deadname doesn't hurt me and sometimes it hits like a bullet to the chest. I usually try to dress androgynous but on small occasions I will dress feminine. This is usually for a family event or anything like that. I have many skirts but I feel insecure wearing them somehow.

i often worry that my special interests seem too "feminine". Such as hello kitty, sanrio. I hardly ever express my love for sanrio here because I dont want people thinking Im a girl. I know if you like sanrio you aren't automatically a girl its just a common thing to have girls like sanrio, I guess?

I remember as a kid I'd always call myself a king instead of a queen when I played a game where I stood on a stump. My parents corrected me but I still said king anyway. Not sure how I remember this actually but

i remember as a kid i asked my mother why i never saw girls and girls and boys and boys in love and she said it was not right or something. My mother is amazing and she supports me even if she forgets I am not straight sometimes lol.

Im extremely lucky to have my mom and stepdad, even if I talk shit about them a lot. They're really good parents and they make mistakes, and that's fine. I love my dad and stepmom too but they have done things that I won't forget and it affects me to this day

Also I got kicked from drama for the musical, but ill be helping with the next play later this month when I get my grades up

Ok I feel much better now

thanks man, that made me really happy :)