I have a dream, I'm here to tell. About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel Yes it's one of a kind, right here in Hell Catering to a specific clientele (Oooh-ooh-ooh) Inside of every demon is a rainbow, Inside every sinner is a shiny smile! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac, Is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child! We can turn them 'round! They'll be heaven-bound! With just a little time down at the Happy Hotel! So, all you junkies, freaks and weirdos, Creepers, ****-ups, crooks, and zeroes, And downfallen superheroes, hope is here! All of you cretins, sluts and losers, Sexual deviants and boozers, and prescription drug abusers Need not fear Forever again We'll cure your sin We'll make you well, you'll feel so swell Right here in Hell, at the Happy Hotel! There'll be no more fire And no more screams, Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams, And puffy-wuffy clouds, you're gonna be like "Wow!" Once you check in with meeeee~!