Alright, this might be a bit venty and jumbled, since it's just... really hard for me to write this out, haha. I'm sorry about that, I'm bad at avoiding tangents and such. If I'm being honest, it's kinda hard for me to remember much. My mental health has been extremely poor, so I've just been in a haze. All I can really remember is that my anxiety started getting really severe, so much that even thinking of my chromebook or checking text messages was too much for me. It still is. At least I can use my chromebook now, but I still feel ill doing so. I still find myself unable to check texts, or even talk to anyone irl. Even if they're right there, even if I've been hanging out with them for hours, I just can't get words out. It's like there's just a mental block, I can't get myself to do so because I'm just so terrified. I don't know why. I wish I could. I feel so alone and distant from everyone and no matter how much I reach out for help nothing actually helps me. (cont.)

I'm still stuck, and everything just makes me feel worse. People going out of their way to help makes me feel horrible, because it always ends up making me feel more alienated when they don't fully understand, and I can't help but project onto the people around me and fully believe I'm annoying them. I'm aware that it's just my mind messing with me, but I still fully believe it, and it's just really hard. I've also just not had any energy. I can't even get out of bed half the time, and even basic necessities like eating are hard for me to manage a lot of the time. I don't find joy from doing anything, and any sort of negative feelings cause me to spiral and get lost in my own head, which puts me in a... bad mindset. So I haven't been able to work up much motivation to draw, as much as I want to, and I'm also just so nervous about any feedback at all. I really want to improve. I really, REALLY want to improve, but everything seems so hopeless right now. I'm trying, I really am, (cont.)

but until I can feel okay again I won't be able to post much, if at all. I want to be able to look at this positively, I want to be happy when I'm drawing, and animating, and interacting with this community! You're all wonderful, and I really appreciate you all so much, but I just can't right now. I'm a mess, I'm really feeling horrible and there isn't any one, obvious reason for it. I just can't. I physically can't do anything most of the time. I'm really trying to change that, I'm trying so hard, and I'll keep trying, but for now I can't put any energy into this when all my energy is already exhausted just living. Don't worry, I won't just abandon this, I'll come back eventually, but I'm not in a good place right now, and it wouldn't be healthy for me to force myself to continue, as much as I really want to animate again. Sorry if this is upsetting, I tried to cut out a lot but I'm bad with oversharing. If anyone else can relate to this, even a LITTLE, please (cont.)

reach out for help and resources. Therapy is beneficial to most people, no matter what your circumstance is, if it's available for you, and try to form a healthy support network to fall back on. I always felt isolated and disconnected, all of my life, and I feel like if I'd recognized that earlier on I would be in a better place mentally today. Anyways, once again, sorry this is long-winded, but I hope you understand. I'm sorry this is so negative, that's all my life has been recently so it's tough to put a positive spin on anything, but despite that I really, sincerely hope you're all feeling alright. Please have an amazing day, I haven't been able to do so for a while now but just knowing others are would make me feel a bit better!! And don't feel like you need to address this, I got really heavy and that's awkward to respond to ^_^,

Aw, thank you so much! I really appreciate it, that actually brightened my day a lot!! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, though :(