"way cooler than the ones on my home planet, those ones were grey and boring and looked more like someone chewed up tin foil. i guess that's one good thing about earth."

HLEP M,E "thanks for letting me know next time i need to piss it should be thousands of miles away from you. why would you need to know that... ever?"

"eating the only one i've ever had wasn't worth the trauma of the old lady i took it from chasing me down the street with a garden rake in her hand yelling with a more raspy voice than a pterodactyl cry."

"i'm perfectly fine why would you ever ask such a silly question ( ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ❖︎□︎♓︎♍︎♏︎⬧︎ □︎■︎●︎⍓︎ ♑︎♏︎⧫︎ ●︎□︎◆︎♎︎♏︎❒︎📬︎ )"

"oh shit, people can understand wingdings? man. it was fun being able to confuse people. idk i think the voices are kinda funny they tell me to commit mass genocide"

"as much as i'd love to i'd get an actually long prison sentence for that and i'm not strong enough to break out... but hey, if you could take all the blame for me i'd be down."

"awesome. when do we do it? not right now, i have questions to answer. i've never taken a life while working as a team before."

"i don't think so. the world isn't ready to see me without my hoodie on yet, hopefully it will never be 'cause i'm never letting anybody see that."

"thanks, saves me the extra hassle of having to go through another stressful chase over stolen items. you're challenging someone who does that for a living, you know."

"my clothes are the only things i had with me when coming to earth from my home planet. it's from a place called ♒︎□︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎◻︎♓︎♍︎, but good luck ever getting there."

"i doubt it. most shops there were full of machines and screens. wasn't the most tropical or exotic place you'd ever be in."

"what am i? honestly, i don't know what someone from earth would call me. people call me a moonling because of my face but i'm not from your moon so i don't know what that's all about. i also get called a filthy raccoon so i guess that works just as well. black and white are my favourite, you could probably tell."

"nuh uh, even if i wanted to i only have half a mouth.. it'd be kinda awkward wouldn't it ( ♓︎🕯︎♎︎ ●︎□︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⧫︎❒︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎♑︎♒︎ )"

"woah woah woah hey now what do you mean by that..?? on who??"

"hahahaaha. haha. hah. good one, you had me fooled for a second."

"oh... haha.. i... i'm kind of lost for words i-i mean we've only just met and... no, you're definitely tricking me."

"i'm not giving you all the details 'cause something's telling me you wanna rat me out to the police. i like to build things, and i like adventuring. it's just a shame there's trash everywhere, your kind sure are messy. oh well, just means more resources for me."

"⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ⧫︎□︎□︎✍︎✍︎ ❍︎♋︎■︎📪︎ ⬥︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎🕯︎⬧︎ ◆︎◻︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎📬︎ ♓︎ ⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ♓︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♌︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♍︎□︎□︎●︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ❍︎⍓︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎♓︎□︎◆︎⬧︎📬︎"

"i dunno man... you warmed up to me suspiciously quickly. i've got my eye on you. ( ⬥♒♋⧫ ⧫♒♏ ♒♏●● ♓⬧ ♋ ⬧♏⌧◆♋●♓⧫⍓✍ ♓⬧ ⧫♒♋⧫ ⬧□❍♏ ⬥♏♓❒♎ ♒◆❍♋■ ⧫♒♓■♑✍ )"

"there's more aliens on earth? god damn. why do i get all the hate then? ( ♒︎□︎⧫︎ □︎■︎♏︎⬧︎📪︎ □︎♌︎❖︎♓︎□︎◆︎⬧︎●︎⍓︎ )"

"⧫︎︎♒︎︎♋︎︎■︎︎🙵⬧︎︎ ♓︎︎ ♑︎︎◆︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⬧︎︎📬︎︎📬︎︎📬︎︎✍︎︎ ♓︎︎♐︎︎ ⍓︎︎□︎︎◆︎︎ ♏︎︎❖︎︎♏︎︎■︎︎ ❍︎︎♏︎︎♋︎︎■︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♋︎︎⧫︎︎📬︎︎ ♓︎︎⧫︎︎🕯︎︎⬧︎︎ ■︎︎♓︎︎♍︎︎♏︎︎ 🙵■︎︎□︎︎⬥︎︎♓︎︎■︎︎♑︎︎ ♓︎︎🕯︎︎❍︎︎ ■︎︎□︎︎⧫︎︎ ♋︎︎●︎︎□︎︎■︎︎♏︎︎ ⬥︎︎♓︎︎⧫︎︎♒︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎□︎︎⬧︎︎♏︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎□︎︎◆︎︎♑︎︎♒︎︎⧫︎︎⬧︎︎📬︎︎ ♎︎︎□︎︎■︎︎🕯︎︎⧫︎︎ ⧫︎︎♋︎︎●︎︎🙵 ♋︎︎♌︎︎□︎︎◆︎︎⧫︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎❍︎︎ ⧫︎︎□︎︎□︎︎ ❍︎︎◆︎︎♍︎︎♒︎︎ ⧫︎♒︎□︎◆︎♑︎♒︎📪︎︎ ⍓︎︎□︎︎◆︎︎🕯︎︎●︎︎●︎︎ ♑︎︎♏︎︎⧫︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎❍︎︎ ♏︎︎⌧︎︎♍︎︎♓︎︎⧫︎︎♏︎︎♎︎︎📬︎︎"

"i already answered both of those, you need a pair of glasses?"

"just get new eyes at that point."

"i feel like you just said slurs at me in some kind of language so i'm just gonna ignore that first question. i haven't watched it, don't got any money so i can't. it's too hard to sneak into a cinema man i'm too lazy for that."

"most of them are screams of anger so not really. it's kinda funny sometimes but 75% of the time it stresses me out and it's not fun. i'd love to hear them scream in terror but they all laugh at me for being small whenever i try to square up to 'em."

"music to my little ears. makes me giggle and grin sinisterly in delight. one of the finest forms of sounds able to be heard. and it's fun to sink my claws into their soft flesh when they don't grab me by the tail and swing me around like a helicopter propeller."

"oh my god. i get it. i'm short. we can't all be born with such magnificent physique as you, okay? i'm sooo sorry that my proportions are far too minuscule for your liking. i apologize profusely for being such a MIDGET. I'M SO SORRY!"

"**** me, you're so irritating. i would say you but you look like your blood would be some kind of acid that you'd spray all over me if i were to lay a finger on you... wait. how did you know about my plush??"

"you know more than i do apparently 'cause i dont even think i have more than a first name... hah, who am i kidding? you know nothing. my parents may have been dumbasses but not to the point where my last name was very nearly shatinburger."

"how DARE you assume that about bernardarito... yes he was.. how did you- have you been spying on me?"

"how dare you assume that i have a ****ing CLUE what youre saying to me right now. of course id never name my plushie that, what kind of goofy name is that?? it does sound like something i would name a plushie to be honest... but really, what're you trying to do? scare me? it's not working, you look like a buffoon."

"youre the one trying to trick me into thinking you know every detail about my life. i just wanted to see the despair on your face after hearing youve been spitting nothing but bullshit lol. also you called me short"

"idk, it's whatever the hell you are."

"building's my favourite. it's one of the only things i can do that keeps my violent tendencies quiet. plus i'm hoping all that crafting will help me get smart enough to build a rocket so i can finally go home, this place sucks."

"even the humans don't like it here? awesome, good job at looking after your only home. i'm surprised you haven't blown it up already. thanks for the luck but it's probably not happening unless i somehow get a job at nasa."

"where are you going then? i don't know of any other inhabitable planets other than earth and home. and you sure as HELL aren't following me home."