Okay, so there has been something I've been meaning to tell you guys which has been getting to me and just hit me like a train but I don't know if I should because I don't know how people will react and it will just feel like I'm getting pity when no one could control what happened and it just..I don't know why but it just..hit me..right now..I didn't even do anything to make that happen..I didn't think about it..did nothing to remind me and it..I don't know what to do and now I'm just..now I just need to shut up because now I'm just venting which I said I would stop.