I. Always want to help but sometimes it hurts really bad because it reminds me of things but i want to help i care and i want them to know i care by pretending its ok that they talk to me about things that they are dealing with even thiugh sometimes i cry because it reminds me of what happened to me but i just need to be strong to help others i dont know why i am so sensitive i want to help and i am the only one there for them i couldnt just say no

I doomscrolled tiktok for too long and suddenly everything was about suicide and it just reminds me that no matter how hard i try it is impossible for me to save everyone who deserves it i want everyone to be okay i want to help but i cant help everyone and what if i couldve saved someone right now instead of talking on flipanim what if i couldve saved someone instead of going to school

Am i too open minded i feel like many people deserve more chances even when others think they are bad i dont know i think that there is some good in everyone but maybe i am just delusional i want to make sure everyone has good lives but nobody assigned me this role and im just some sophmore in the middle of no where, why do i feel so compelled to make sure everyone is ok? Why do i put harm upon myself to help others time and time again??? I am going to keep doing it, but i just dont know why i care so much

I been pondering a lot lately lol, existence is so weird

Everytime i step into public its just everyone watching me, i know im ugly please just stop looking at me. I wish i could wear something over my face, or maybe just something over my entire body since it looks so mangled. My friend pointed out my nose the other day and i honestly just wanted to cry, that is one the things i am most insecure about because it looks so horrible. And why do i have to be so skinny but i have chubby cheeks, its so gross and i hate it, it just looks terrible. And everytime i raise my eyebrows 10 wrinkles appear on my fourhead and of course my friends and family point that out too. How are people born so pretty???? I dont think makeup can fix this

Sometimes i just want to sculpt my skin like clay and make myself featureless, then i wouldnt have to look masculine or feminine or ugly . Im sorry im just. Ranting now but i just wanted somewhere to put all my thoughts and i dont like journals for some reason

i do hope everyone is having a good day though❤️ i have state testing tomorrow so maybe im just more stressed than usual. I didnt get to rollerskate today because it was raining and my step dads friends came over for dnd. My thighs hurt from rollerskating on sunday😭

Goodnight flipabim🦋🦋🦋