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okay where the hell do i start? well, i'm going to explain why the **** i hate being the way i am a lot. FIrst thing's first, i live and grew up in an abusive family who could care less if i put a bullet through my head. I understand they claim they're helping me but they're half the reason why i want to kill myself, my parents have tried driving me to suicide more than once. second, my mom, she's devil spawn and when i say i don't want to be like her it's for a valid reason. I really hate being mean and abusive to people, i do. i try my best not to be and im sorryt= to those who i've been mean to