This post? What's that supposed to tell me? The promise I made to you was already broken because you acted rashly towards me. I suddenly blocked you because I had a realization that you continued to lie to me, no matter if I asked or not. I let you walk over me so many times, and I couldn't believe myself. I told you about that other girl who told me she hated me, and you made a promise that you would never become the second version of it. I trusted you, and I was unfortunately very attached to you. No matter what you did, I would just let it go because I felt that you were in control of me now, and there was nothing I could do because you had to be right. Right?

My past mistakes? You would laugh at them when they were brought up. They were already cringey as it was, and you kept mentioning how funny it was. And what about how you kept me away from @Dawmfreak?? When you told me he was bad from the beginning, you finally convinced me to start repeating it, just for me to see you having a good time with him while I looked bad? When your friends called me sensitive just because I don't like making fun of people like you guys do. What fun do you get out of that?? You lied to me about a lot, when you told me something to reassure me or whatever, it was a full on lie. There was no truth behind it. That's why I told you I couldn't believe when you told me you loved me as a friend. Or when you made yourself the victim, saying that you were never talking about me. When really, you were and just made a fake scenario about "another friend from school" who SOMEHOW had the exact same problem.

For once, I don't feel weak around you. I am angry. With myself. I let you do all of this, and sorry wasn't enough. When I liked Dawmfreak, you guilt tripped me so much. You made it seem like I was the one who tried to get you guys away from each back then. One, that was in the past. And two, I thought you would be the one to hurt him in the end. I've always liked him as a person and you always want me away for some darn reason. Now I don't have a chance to become something as simple as friends because I forced him to talk. I didn't get many times to talk to him because of you. You mentioned Russian roulette and a lot of other s/h subjects and ignored me, trying to tell you I don't forget other friends just because I made another. I especially got angry when you told me things like you hated Dawm, and he was bad. ..Then you went behind my back to act friendly with him, doing the complete opposite. I got really stressed because I was trying to balance talking to you both. I wanted to talk to you both.

I'm sensitive with the subject of suicide because I'm going to be honest, sometimes I thought about it. Seeing you lie about trying to do that isn't nice, not for me but for your followers, for others. Why?? And then when you showed me those pictures, I hated it, and I told you so. Before AND after. One thing you constantly did too, was not respecting my boundaries. You were disrespectful to me, even I told you over and over that I didn't feel comfortable. Whether it was you mentioning my past mistakes, a person I did not want to hear about, or something I was not comfortable with, you did all three.

I could never become your friend again. I don't trust you. I wouldn't know if you're talking behind my back or not, I would be in this friendship just for the worry of it, which was not my purpose in it. I liked you, the old you. When you joined FA, why did you change into someone who was completely different? I usually think, "Anybody can change, no matter what time or how long it takes them." That's not what I meant. Change back into that nice person. Stop wondering why I did this so suddenly and start thinking.

What was there to NOT understand about me being uncomfortable? And, you had my attention. I don't know what you expected.

I didn't want to believe that it was toxic because I was attached. But I did notice a repeating pattern, and that's what cut me off. I want to say a lot more, but it's not worth it. Learn from it. If anybody who knows you reads this, then I hope they know that this is the truth. I don't want them getting hurt either.

I don't forgive you. You continued to deny some things in your apology and I don't want you to thank me. I'm not alright with you as you made me feel awful. It seems you missed a lot of what I said.

I don't believe you're sorry. I need to see the change and I'm just not interested in waiting anymore.

I forgot to mention that I lied about something that's supposed to be kept private. It was disgusting how I needed to make that up in order to think you wouldn't make fun of me anymore, or you wouldn't just leave me as a friend because I didn't really talk about sex like you and your friends did. Your friends would call me "crystals", indicating that I was sensitive and couldn't handle a lot. Oh yeah? What about that repulsing roleplay you guys had about having sex with a dead body?? What's that all about, 'just a joke'? That's sick. I don't deserve to be called sensitive or scoffed on at that moment when I told you all that it was gross. I will never forget how you couldn't defend me at times your friends made fun of me, or threw out insults at me.

You thought it was funny (as in off) that I didn't talk about inappropriate subjects much, because the rest of your friends did. At this point this post is a vent on how our friendship changed entirely and the way it made me feel

And please, if anybody reads this, don't turn it into drama. I'm sharing my thoughts from the past year and a half because I couldn't talk to anybody about it during then. Just be careful