was on my daily walk through the park, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between two women on a bench nearby. "Did you hear about Jesus?" one of them said, giggling. "Apparently he was gay!" My blood boiled at the blasphemy I was hearing. I knew I had to set these women straight and defend the honor of our Lord and Savior. I strode over to the bench, my cape flowing behind me like a wave of righteousness. "Excuse me, ladies," I said, my voice dripping with condescension. "But I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. And I must say, I am deeply offended by your disrespectful and heretical views on Jesus." The women looked at me, surprised and a little intimidated by my imposing presence. "Jesus was not gay," I continued, my voice rising with each word. "He was a man of God, a role model for all of us. He was the epitome of masculinity and strength. To suggest otherwise is not only blasphemous, but it goes against everything that traditional values stand for."