Hello I’d like to advertise my new product that makes your skin ROUGHER! That’s right, we’re rivals agains the lotion company, and our product is called “Sandpaper”.
Just keep scraping it against your skin until you have the desired rash, and presto! You look like a new born baby with a growth spurt straight from the womb!
Unfortunately NOT, but our recent developments in technology have given you the ability to “Sandpaper” your device, which should also give it a crash! I mean nice red rash!