when you find someone on discord doing free anthro commissions and you'd kill to see your fursona in a tight ass bikini,,,- pfft don't fcking ask it's 2:05 in the morning where I am

UwU's aggressively notice me you internet-addicted shitposting cuties i'm letting my true self out right now like not when I try to act cool this is me like I'd call you that irl i'm being serious rn full ass fcking furry over here tired as hell seems like I might be on crack but I swear i'm not just hella tired that's all but I just can't sleep hgggghghgghg

fcking help this is hell i'm in hell like my spine feels like it just FAILED ME stretched out a min ago and heard it crack is that bad

like do I need to go see a chiropractor or smth I feel like shit someone chat with me please woke up in the middle of the night because someone DMed me about commissions and now I can't go back to sleep like my eyes won't CLOSE they won't stay closed and it's annoying

I have so much to say

is there a certain limit to the amount of comments on one fcking chain because I will not stop commenting here I have so much on my mind right now because I've been bottling the way I act online with close friends because I actually feel accepted with them And I feel as if I need to gain a persons trust and be so nice and cool towards them so I can actually be myself and be accepted for acting the way I act off site around irl friends and other furries I know Because like I act so weird sometimes it's embarrassing and I don't like doing that on public sites because I feel like i'll get judged and picked apart for it and no one would ant to be my friend because of how i act because of a hobby. I can be chill at one point and sometimes I might be in vc making everyone's ears bleed because they know me and they know the way I act so they're comfortable with it. LIKE I NEVER REALLY ACT SEXUAL ON HERE BUT I DO ON DISCORD???

It's so weird because like I started gaining these feelings a few hours ago that were just telling my "oh just be your self and everyone will accept you and want to be your friend because they think you're underrated so they want to be your friends" "you act to cool and nice and chill online on FA but have you every tried to actually BE YOURSELF? No, you haven't." "So sexual irl, why not on FA? You have real friends there, right? They are your friends.. right..? They'll accept your behavior." And it's just-- WEIRD?? Because you head fills up with all these worried thoughts about what might happen after you say something like "Anyone wanna OwO with me??" because you get horny in the middle of the fcking night because you commissioned your oc for a NSFW DRAWING?? TURNING YOURSELF ON NOW, AYE? And you are just contently being yelled and *****ed at because of your sexuality and hobby. Sorry for bad grammar or typing. Still not done though <3

This might seem really strange for be to act like this all of the sudden for some of you guys and I'm sorry about that. My mind just got cloudy for a while and I felt like I needed to un-bottle some of my feelings and act more natural and actually BE MYSELF for a change.

And on here, on FA I have a lot of problems on here too. I'm tired of not venting out loud and talking to someone you because I know a lot of you would want to help me. But i've been having some suicidal thoughts lately and it's mainly because of my shitty fcking dad. He looks at me weird, he talks to be weird, he tells me "oh if you're gay then why don't you just go a head and go to school wearing a suit and tie and act like a boy??" and I keep telling him I'm not gay, lesbian is it's own pride, sure the definition is a gay woman but lesbians have their own flag and so do gays. And FYI father, I find trans people hella cute and amazing. Get yo homophobic/transphobic ass outta here. Pride ***** Also I've been questioning my sexuality? I feel more bisexual than just lesbian? Because i've been crushing on a few guys here and there but I also really like women? It's just,, seeing the harm that men can do kinda scares me and makes me like them less when they approach me, especially my dad.

curse you FA for censoring my curse word what a female dog you are *scratches u and hisses*

Dear god someone people notice me and chat with me. My discord is dead right know and none of my friends are online,, idrc who you are just please say Hi or something.

Have you ever just wanted to choke yourself because of how you act. I know a lot of you probably thin I'm annoying as hell, and yes I know I am. But when you're up all morning and it's still dark and you're just waiting for your parents to wake up so you can rub your feelings in their faces and bawl your eyes out and tell them how mistreated and neglected you feel and just make them feel guilty and force them to make themselves apologize for every little mistake they've ever made- yeah. You kinda can't sleep.

I'm just glad my mother isn't a homophobic piece of shit like my dad is. She actually supports me lmao

Imagine reloading the page every 30 seconds to see if someone actually commented on your post that turned into a huge fcking vent. And you just keep checking over and over and over again because suddenly, it feels so wrong to bottle your feelings.

And no one even notices your post.

Nevermind. This was useless. Still feel shitty, mind is still clouded and I still have stuff to spill. Just going to go watch youtube or something,, bye.