I am too mentally ill to care anymore there is genuinely no hope for me it's actually over I'm so done

I am sorry to everyone I've failed I'm sorry to my friends who I repeatedly hurt I don't mean to I don't know what's wrong with me

Everyday I feel molested 😂

I am constantly preyed on to anyone who romanticizes being victimized or objectified I hope you and hope you kill yourself I hope you die a horrible death genuinely 😳

*****es like that don't understand what it's like to develop a disorder at the age of 6 because your parents couldn't ****ing monitor you as a kid my life was set to fail they didn't even give my ass a chance

Everyday I am haunted and it is miserable it is so ****ing miserable

"These people dont have control over me anymore" yes Wallace keep lying to yourself to cope😳 keep lying

Everything has been taken from me I'm tired I don't wanna live anymore I'm not gonna survive in the real world I have to stop pretending that I will cause I won't

Everything will be ripped from me all over again and I'm not ready to face that sorry

I'm sorry to my friends I promised a future with and I'm sorry for failing you

People don't know what it's like to be groomed for years in isolation you're being sexually abused by multiple different people online THAT piled ontop the sexual assault you endured throughout primary school THAT and a compulsive disorder ontop of that THAT and losing ****ing everything you have

I lost ****ing EVERYTHING

I lost my FRIENDS i lost my HOME my parents were constantly ****ing arguing I was completely alone I had NO ONE TO TURN TO BECAUSE NO ONE ****ING CARED i lost all of that SO QUICKLY I was only 13 how the absolute **** was I supposed to process all of that because it all happened after I got groomed I lost ****ing everything and that abuse CONTINUED even after it CONTINUED and i was left with the burden of trying to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone else while ****ing homeless and people barely helped me i asked for helped and no one ****ing helped they just treated it as a joke and that's all i am to people

I was either left alone for days on end in a shitty run down motel room with little food all by myself to dwell either that or my dad would come home and bring my mother with him just to ****ing argue in the same small cramped room for hours for multiple days there was barely ever an in-between

I don't blame my 13 year old self for running away in search of a place to kill myself I don't blame myself for wanting to kill myself now either I can't handle this anymore because after all the hardships I've gone through im still haunted by what happened to me and I wish people wouldn't get mad at me for BEING that way BECAUSE ITS WHAT IVE BEEN ADJUSTED TO BE LIKE AND CHANGING WITHOUT PROPER CHANGE IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE I HAVE TRIED FOR SOOO ****ING LONG

No one in my life understands what it's like to be 12 all alone and isolated zero real life friends zero outlets you sit in a room all day and there's this greasy ****er online taking advantage of you sexually and you can't do anything about it because what the **** are you supposed to do you're a kid

This same shit going on for like 4 years by the way

I've tried my best to be nothing but kind to people and this is how God repays me he must really ****ing hate me

What's the point of building everything back up just for it to be taken from me again I'm done bro

I'd be better off dead unfortunately

The haters will infact find my body dead and rotting in a ditch sorry guys

All I've ever wanted to do is to help people I came into society with that intent and it's all I've ever wanted to do and In return it took ****ing everything from me and failed me miserably everyone has failed me and I have failed them

I cant even help people anymore I'm failing at that I dont serve a purpose anymore I treat my friends like shit

It's genuinely over for me