i want to suffocate.
18 comments
Silver-the-Rabbit[OP]
22.03.2018 14:02
Linkdont ask me what is wrong.
Liar, you're a ****ing winner, I envy you and your art, I love your work, your personality, I love you in general silver, and you might just say: "ah but you don't even know me" Well suprisy supriso I DO. You don't know who I am but I know who you are Silver, I might not know you in real life but I worry for you, you're like familly to me. If you weren't born life would be ****ing horible. You're the reason I keep drawing. I know this might mean nothing to you coming from a "stranger" But I think I'm not that much of a stanger to you, you don't know, but I just created this account because of Nighteye, then I got addicted to this site again, just know that without you I'd probably just never draw anymore. You make me feel better Silver, you make me feel like I'm not just some stupid 12 year old that tries to draw and fails. You make me feel good about myself. You're familly in my eyes.
..Cricket?
i just, can't deal with much of this anymore. i've been thinking of past experiences and realizing that if i were not there that person, or those people, would still be happy. i've made plenty of people mad by being me. by being myself. by being a "good person".
so maybe.
maybe i'll stop.
i'll stop being nice and then everyone will hate me and no one would care if i died then...
i just..
i'm so tired and afraid and i feel horrible for the littlest things and i just wish i could go back to being a kid.
where everything was perfect.
..
it's never going to be perfect now..
but, whoever you are, maybe cricket, just know that if i do and when i do commit, i'll write a note.
to everyone, i suppose.
even when or if you do hate me.
and my art.
my art, yes.
i hate it.
i absolutely LOATHE it.
i'm just boring and lame and i bet everyone hates me, deep down inside.
but.. thank you i guess, for your kindess.. it really does help, if only a little.
I can't say if I am Cricket or not, but I jelous of your art, but your art right now doesn't matter, what matters to me is you Silver, if you ever did something as horible as killing youself, hell, I'd go along with you. I love you Silver, you're the pure reason I keep coming to this site to see how you're doing, I come here everyday just trying to see what you've been up to, you've never in my life made me mad, and you never will, you made me cry tears of joy once for your kindness, without you life isn't worth living.
i just..
****, im so close to crying.. and in the middle of science.. ahha..
i appreciate you.
a lot.
even if i may or may not tell you.
but i just smile a little when i hear from you. because i guess my heart tells me that "hey, she does care, she is your friend, you're never alone on this."
and.. i believe it. i suppose i do.
i've just done so much bad shit in the past that im just losing emotion.
im slowly becoming a sociopath..
i'm already a masochist and a sadist..
I've always cared, hell, let me tell you something right now, I thought you were basicly a god when I first met you, I thought you only had certain people be your friend, I kept telling myself that I could never even talk to you if I wanted to, and I'm glad that I was wrong, you changed me for the better, and I've done shit too, I made someone fall in love with me just so I could break them apart so my friend would be happy, and I'll probably do it again if I need to help someone I love, and you are one of them. I hope you always keep in your mind that it doesn't matter if you kill someone, it doesn't matter if you torture someone, it doesn't matter how much shit you do, I'll always be here for you, if I could I'd just hug you right now and tell all of this to your face. But I'm happy I can at least tell you trough here. You'll always be my family, my life, my everything. And I don't care what anyone tells you, I will always be here for you and try my best to help you
i cant thank you through this site, because words will never describe it. i just feel like shit, as always, and ive been even worse lately because i've been extremely tired and i've started sleeping in class, something i never did before. i just wish that i could see you, in person, and hug you and cry onto your shoulder from both tiredness and happiness. im just really empty and sadistic and sociopathic atm.. and i dont mean to, either, it kinda happens naturally.. im glad to be your friend, and im glad you understand..