Im mentally ill

I think I can still become a better person

I wanna talk to my friends

I love them alot

I wanna wrap my arms around them all together and hug them

Im nonchalant

I cant tell my parents what's wrong with me because they'll try to push me down

I got a machete and I must cut down trees

that isn't a metaphor, I actually am cutting down trees

my heart hurts

I want to be a normal kid

the things I'm getting a risk into are at a huge risk

I just wanted to save everyone that I love, even the people who's this close losing their life, I still want them to live another day and become happy.

I promise a ton of people that I'll save them, but I soon regret it, they're just dreams, I don't know why I told them that, I didn't meant to give them false hope. I just wanted them to be happy without the horrible environment they live in

If I keep caring abt people more than myself, I'm going to start losing myself easily

Im emotionally sensitive, Im unable to control my emotions

I need to stop putting other people first, Instead I shld put myself first. because for the past year, I begin to starting to lose myself without my knowledge. I barely didn't even look at myself where I am.

the vibration in my eardrums hurt, and I've been seeing stuff lately that doesn't even exist in the first place

I'm slowly losing my tongue, Im losing my words, my vowel, my sight to understand by seeing them

I cant even look at words normal, they always get mashup together and like if there's a huge black highlighter in them

I only told two people so far

and I don't wanna tell my family about my situation, they don't understand

I don't want to die by losing my mind

I cant die yet because there's so many people I need to fulfill their dreams with

I didn't even get a taste of love yet, I didnt even get a taste of peace yet

I didn't get a taste of success

I really wanted to be a normal kid where I could take care the people who struggle worse than me

Im blind, Im slowly losing my sense of reality, I cant tell what's real or not

I need someone to hold me