I say that I've always been single but I actually dated someone before without none of my friends knowing. She was my queen and I gave her all I had of me. I never felt that kind of affection back but I ignored my gut and continued. I guess she saw it as a game and as soon as she gt bored she basically disappeared. I tried to find her but it never happened. For months I searched until I gave up. My first relationship was serious for me but just a game for her. And I still love her and Im angry with myself for that.