I just don’t ****ing get it My week has been shit and all I want to do is see my boyfriend and I can’t even do that without my mom guilt tripping me and telling me I don’t do enough or my stepdad making fun of me till I’m about to cry Just so he can act all surprised and tell me why I’m so sensitive I can’t even mourn my dads death anniversary without someone in this house making me feel bad for it Or getting mad at me for ****ing passing out on the bathroom floor when I’m supposed to be cleaning

And it’s not even like I have anyone other than Ethan to lean on about it cause ig I don’t even have friends anymore Cause the one person I did put trust in and manage to get close with stopped talking to me after I admitted I only really leave the house to see her and my boyfriend I’m just sick of feeling alone all the time And I feel bad cause I’m constantly crying to Ethan about my friends hurting my feelings or feeling like a floater friend And just not understanding why it’s so much easier for others to maintain those relationships when I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong Cause he has his own shit to worry about like getting ready for collage and his full time job and making sure his siblings are okay Omg Except the other day he casually brought up how I don’t eat to his mom and how I’m a sa victim?? In who’s ****ing mind is that okay Then he was confused why I got quiet and even his mom didn’t know how to respond cause she just quietly asked what he meant And I think she was referrin

To the sa part but Ethan just said I have 1 meal on a good day tops Then ig before he’d brought up how I told him I really only eat when we go out or I’m with them and they offer something cause she mentioned how if I’m not getting fed then I’m always welcome and she gave me a burger and salad I love his mom Thinking about her makes me feel a lot better She and Ethan’s grandma make me feel safe and they’re always the first to check in on me when I’m off If you got this far thanks for reading through my breakdown with me I’m gonna try to sleep now

I try