Before i say anything Warning, what i will say might will be offensive to others You have been warned, now let me type

I don't know where to start anymore with the "I hate myself" or "i hate everyone around me" It has always been a struggle for me to socialize and not learning to refuse things,, Getting eaten up with all the lies has been an issue to me God exists, he loves you no matter what, he has been helping all of us Oh sure he does, then why won't he help us out of this situation? He watches us sink to death, what kind of god is he? Oh wait, does he even exist then? Why won't he respect lgbtq+ people? They are jus the same as any human, why do they have to stay in the sin corner? I always hated those who has been forcing me to do what they want and be like them but i never trusted them and tried to get away as fast as i could but it always felt like they pulled me back from my goal, I always wondered why people treat me like a baby cause i'm young and how they never noticed how painful it is for me in the inside Them acting like i'll never hit my goal cause i'm not like the others, a number who respects the w

-ay they are, i never did honestly I hated how i looked like and how my personality turned out It always felt wrong and being infront of everyone was like a punishment Getting scared of one look always ruined my day, through the times i got scared of everything, my anxiety and issues are killing me I can't even handle my emotions because of how weak and uncapable for life i am Faking things became a hobby, people loved the fake me and never had a thought of me being sad about anything While i kept stressing i'd do wrong cause of what humanity got to It always made me jealous seeing other users getting more love than me, now i seem like an attention seeker but still I felt unloved no matter how much love i get here, i wanted the people who i knew they were in my 'close people' corner would love me THEY DIDNT THEY NEVER DID THEY JUST EXEPTED ME TO BE PERFECT LIKE A WOMAN. But i DONT feel like a woman, it just doesn't feel right

expected**

I just want to end all this pain but saying this also hurts me a lot cause i can't leave people behind Even if they hate me