Bruh why was i so oblivious seriously i was terrible making my friends n people i love living in fear that i would kms at any inconvenience. How did i not know what i was doing was wrong. I was just dumping so much shit onto someone and thinking it was totally okay. I cried so much almost as much as i did around my dad because i was sp pathetic and couldnt even take care of myself and i was so terrified of losing someone my dumbass did ANYTHING but cut them off even though that shit was not working out. I literally CANNOT believe i let myself act like that at all. I was so selfish and i didnt even realize it all, i destroyed my mental health because i was terrified of losing someone, i was terrified of making them think i didnt love them i thought if i hurt the ones who hurt them i would show i love them but no that isnt how it works . What was genuinely going through my head during being 14-15 years old because wtf

I do not forgive myself for this shit because its baffling how stupid i was. How did i think this was ok. How

It took me MONTHS to realize how terrible i had been for some reason??? Why was i so dense?? I always thought of myself as an open minded person but i guess i just back down from conflict at all costs because i dont want bad things to happen so i jusy agree with anyone . Bro

I think about it all the time . I would go back and smack myself hard to knock some sense into me if i could because wtaf bro . I know i wasnt raised right and i tried so hard to make myself stop believing what my dad said but it fidnt work and i hurt people doing so snd i was stupid

That is all i just wanted to get thos off my chest ily all please take care