Woke up screaming-
by:
Xx-Bay133-xX 
140
140
26.03.2021
16 comments
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 11:36
LinkNightmare...?
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 11:38
LinkYou can say that..
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 11:39
LinkIm sorry about that hun.... you wanna talk bout it..?
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 11:40
LinkThat would be nice..
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 11:41
Linkwell Im here and listening so lay it all on me sundrop
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 11:51
LinkI’ve always had memory problems..I forget things quite easily and can’t remember anything past a month or so...
There’s nothing wrong with me physically- I just forget.
My family likes to take advantage of that, making empty promises, eating my food, using my money and they expect me to forget about it...
When I was twelve..
My Older brother sexually abused me..
It’s the only thing I can’t forget
I want to forget...
He tried to act like nothing happened
But he came over the other day and hung out with my family, and when I saw him, all I could do was act normal, I wanted to cry- I’ve been having nightmares like this for a while now and I just.. can’t..
I already told my mom about this a while back and she doesn’t want to do anything about it
Because it’ll “ruin the reputation of the family”
I’m just...
I dunno
I don’t wanna be alone with him anymore
Because he knows
I know
This might sound psychotic but
He gives me shit to stay quiet and honestly I don’t mind...it’s just nightmares
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 11:57
LinkThats terrible and Im very sorry that has happened. But you shouldn't stay quiet. Who cares if he bribes you? Being abused in any way including rape is wrong and shouldn't happen ever. If he keeps bribing you to stay quiet and you accept his bribes then he might try it again since you show you are willing to keep your mouth shut. Even though that was in the past, you should still tell someone so they can make sure it wont happen again. Keeping in bad things like that will only make things worse. Trust me. And nightmares are parts of memories. If something bad happens in the past, you are most likely wont be able to get over it so you will get nightmares. Maybe try watching a positive movie or read something that made you feel happy before going to bed. Cant have nightmares if you are more happy then afraid.
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 12:03
LinkYeah yeah you’re right...
I just
Don’t want to lose him to anything you know..?
He’s still my big brother and I care for him- I don’t want him to hate me because he gets sent to jail or something
For a while me and my sister hated each other and constantly got into physical fights- my brother was always there for me to cheer me up I just..
Don’t want to ruin it all..
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 12:09
LinkI know how you feel but knowing that he is around and maybe waiting for the right chance will only make you feel like avoiding him.
Me and my sister dont have a good relationship either. She would always try to fight me, hurt me, steal from me, and make me feel like shit, thinking I will never be as good as her. But I was too scared to tell my parents and now she believes she can take control and she has gotten worse. You will only be encouraging them to continue to do such things to you and grow deeper into a bad person.
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 12:11
LinkI’m just...
I’m not ready..
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 12:14
LinkBut some things are worth getting it over with then just putting it aside, forgetting about it, and living with the consequences in the future. I am speaking through experience. I don't want you to suffer and stay quiet then speak up and make sure he gets what he deserves. Even of he goes to jail, it is better then him being able to get another chance to abuse you or even another person in your family.
Xx-Bay133-xX[OP]
26.03.2021 12:17
LinkGah...Okay okay- I’ll try another time- I’m crying again and that’s no fun..
WEARWOLF3
26.03.2021 12:21
LinkI'm sorry if I hit an emotional part of you. It is a sensitive topic. But please make a reminder on paper or on a device that no one can reach and make sure to remind yourself about it. You don't want to live through this. Having bad memories of someone you care about haunting you.
