When you see the red flags, aka people making you want to do stuff in order for you to fit their perceptions and their status so you have the same standpoint and point of view to make you feel more accepted and welcomed. Their bad behavior that they put on you to justify their bad deeds. Those are the red flags because you shouldn't have to "fit in" with a group just because they don't enjoy your presence as a good human being. Feeling like you need to belong is a place where you do not belon gbecause you can be better than them. WHen they say they'll "change" and they refuse to do that very thing they bargain you for, and they take for granted human politeness and being a good being, then all you have is a group of bad friends. find good ones.