About three or four nights ago, I went down to a lake, not specifying which one for privacy reasons. I sat there for awhile and walked around, it was late and dark so it gave me a different vibe which I liked, my mom was with but she let me walk around a few parts on my own. When I was on my own, I stood and looked at the sunset, I felt like crying honestly but I held it in,, I picked up a leaf, one that I liked the shape of, it was brown and wrinkled but I liked that, so I picked up the leaf and threw it in the lake, and watched it sail away through the chunks of ice,, it felt something while I was watching it, something felt different, but in a good way. After awhile I walked around a bit more, I found another leaf, that looked similar to the other, and threw it in the lake. I had the same feeling but I was coming to realize something, throwing those leaves felt like letting go. Even though those leaves were beautiful I still decided to let them sail away in the lake. As I started thinking more,

right before I left I wandered over to the boat landing, I picked up a brown oak leaf, it had some kind of fungus on it but it was still very beautiful to me. This was the last leaf I threw in the lake. This time it traveled further and I wasn't able to reach it. I started to tear up but my mom was standing near so I couldn't start crying. I felt free. Free of him, free of his lies. Those leaves were casper, And I hadn't realized until I threw in that second leaf. The third leaf was the one which traveled furthest, which was caspers "spirit" leaving me, yes I still hate him but I let go. I let go. Letting go is not easy for me,, this was an odd experience for me but it felt amazing. If you know me well, and know how hard things are for me to let go of, I really hope you're proud of me, I'm proud of myself, so proud, I've moved on. I'm ready I can't believe I did it But I did. I am so so ready to leave these horrible memories behind I've gotten tougher in this break I've had I've worked on myself and I

hope you see the difference in me. This has helped me get thicker skin This has helped me to pay attention to red flags and not ignore them This has helped me to learn how to love and be loved again This has taught me I have taught myself through my pain I have taught myself to spot the right and wrong I have taught myself so much ,,I just felt like I should share this ♥

This isnt a made up story by the way, it all happened, sometimes the way I type makes it sound like I'm writing some poem or book but this is real,

My closer friends knew how much I was struggling so I wanted to make it public I hope you all can see changes in me I'm looking forward to what lies ahead

Also this isn't a quitting post a What I put at the end made it sound like that, just to clarify, Don't want anybody thinking I'm leaving, I'm not ♥✨